


teenage love affair

by bukowsking



Series: teenage love affair [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Sex, Angst, Blowjobs, Bottom Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Bullying, Cliques, Crying During Sex, Deaf Clint Barton, Disability, Emotional Sex, F/M, Fingering, Football, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Hospitals, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Idiots in Love, Loss of Parent(s), Loss of Virginity, M/M, Major Character Injury, Medical Conditions, Mentions of Suicide, Multi, Not Steve Rogers Friendly, Prom, Recreational Drug Use, Science Bros, Smut, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Top Bucky Barnes, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Unsafe Sex, because the only hawkeye we stan is comic hawkeye, because they're both 17 and that might be underage in some cases, bucky barnes and tony stark finally get their shit together, bucky really fucks up at one point but don't worry, handjobs, here comes the good part, mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2020-08-16 03:27:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 28,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20179888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bukowsking/pseuds/bukowsking
Summary: despite popular belief, there were things even steve rogers didn't know about bucky barnes. above all, steve didn't know about bucky's long-time crush on one tony stark.orbucky's in a tight spot with money, and along comes steve with the perfect prank to pull. chaos (and love) ensues.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i own nothing but the storyline. and bucky barnes owns my ass. 
> 
> enjoy xx

Despite popular belief, there were things even Steve Rogers didn't know about Bucky Barnes. he didn't know Bucky blamed himself for his parents' death. After all, if they hadn't been picking him up from practice that night, maybe that drunk driver would've wrapped his car around a pole instead of ending their lives. Steve didn't know that Bucky lie awake most nights, phantom pains from where his arm used to be keeping him up for hours on end. Steve didn't know about Becca's steadily worsening heart issues, and the shit Bucky went through to ensure that she had her meds. Above all, Steve didn't know about Bucky's long-time crush on one Tony Stark.

As it is, Stark seems to be the target of Steve's wrath today. The football team gathers at their usual lunch table, Thor and Sam flanking Bucky´s sides as he takes his seat by Steve, who's muttering heatedly under his breath. "Goddamn twink thinks he can steal my girl. He's not even into girls!" 

Bucky's brow raises in slight interest. Of course, he's used to seeing Steve all riled up, considering the guy thinks he can take on anyone, including god himself. Not that Bucky would let him, of course. "Stevie, what the hell are ya goin' on about now?" He opens up a window of opportunity for Steve to air his grievances, though the second Steve opens his mouth, Bucky's filled with regret.

"Fuckin' asshole told 'Tasha i cheated on her with Wanda!"

Bucky blinks.

"Steve… that's because you  _ did _ ." 

Steve's arms go up with a huff, shaking his head in disbelief at his so-called best friend. "Oh great, so now you're on his side!" Bucky rolls his eyes outright, ready with a rebuttal but barely has time to breathe as Steve continues on. "This little asshole makes Nat break my heart and you know what, I should break his right back!"

Bucky can see the steam billowing from his ears, at about the same time he starts to see the cogs on the wheel turn in his brain.  _ Oh no _ .

"Steve.  _ Rogers _ . No. Absolutely not." He immediately spits out, an incredulous look on his face as he glances over at the rest of the guys. T'challa and Erik are too busy bickering to even be paying attention, and Clint fucked off to the lunch line before he could hear any of it - thank god for the cochlear implants that made Clint hearing anything at all even possible. Bucky shakes his head, and he sees M'baku doing the same in his peripheral vision. 

"C'mon, Buck! You know none of us give a shit that you bat for the other team. You're the perfect fit! Shit, Buck, I'll even  _ pay _ you." Steve pleads desperately, and those words give Bucky pause. yeah, he could use the money, and it was no secret that Steve's parents were on the better side of wealthy. Rent, groceries, Becca's medical bills. Everything piled up and Bucky's dingy diner job wasn't exactly doing a great job of taking care of all of this. There's only so much a dishwasher with one real arm can do. He takes a breath, and gives Steve a look.

"Name your price."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tony Stark is intimidating on his own, but when he's surrounded by his friends, Bucky finds that his nerves increase tenfold. Carol Danvers and James Rhodes, the school's premiere dweeb couple. Bruce Banner and Scott Lang, science nerds that Bucky usually sees in the school's science lab flanking tony's sides. Loki Odinson, mischief extraordinaire and funnily enough, brother of thor odinson, Bucky's longtime friend and a beat of a linebacker. Pepper Potts, Tony's right hand woman and elementary school sweetheart. It's always been said that if stark were straight, they'd have eloped by now. Bucky's heart clenches a bit at the thought, but shakes out his nerves and clutches his knuckles around the notebook in his hand.

"Hey. Mind if I sit with you?"

Doe eyes doesn’t miss a beat, an already aggravated sigh leaving those perfectly plump lips as he turns to face the intruder. “Whatever they’re paying you to bother me, I'll double it for you to leave me alone.”

The sound of hushed snickers rung in Bucky's ears, and for a moment he almost felt the urge to accept Tony's offer. after all, he needed the money, right? It wasn't a secret that Stark's parents were loaded, being that his dad owned practically all the tech businesses in town. But Steve would humiliate him to no end, giving in and bailing on his dare like some wuss. Plus, if it weren't for rogers' dumb ass idea, Bucky would've never mustered the courage to even approach Tony in the first place. No, he wasn't about to back down now. Money or no money.

"They ain't payin' me nothing." He could sense the judgment wafting from the table for his imperfect grammar, but what kid growing up in poverty with more responsibilities than he can handle actually focused enough in school to learn the proper way to speak? Certainly not him. "Just figured you'd been lookin' for this and wanted to return it is all."

Bucky tossed the college ruled notebook on the table like a rock, "Tony Stark's Top Secret Science Notes, do not open ever or face the consequences," scribbled across the front in handwriting so messy it could rival a doctor's. As Bucky turned to retreat to his friends with his tail tucked between his legs, a voice called out.

"Lunch hour, tomorrow. You can sit next to Lang."

Brown eyes met blue, Bucky nodded, and stark gave him the smallest of smiles. Bucky would never admit to it, but on the inside, he was pumping his fist in the air like Bender.   
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit of a filler chapter, but a friendship's gotta start somewhere right? 
> 
> enjoy xx

When Bucky enters the cafeteria the next day, there's no logical explanation for why his heart rate seems to automatically spike. Sure, he's about to jump into shark infested waters and possibly wind up regretting ever going along with Steve's batshit crazy plan, but deep down he felt that it had more to do with the way Tony'd been treating him all day prior. 

While Tony was - obviously - enrolled in more advanced science and math courses than any other seventeen year old, he had found himself placed in Bucky's English 101 class. Based heavily on reading and book-based assignments, this was where Bucky thrived. Turns out, when football and partying wasn't eating up all of his spare time, Bucky didn't seem to mind curling up next to Becca with a good book. Most nights, he and his sister drifted off to sleep next to each other after a hefty chapter of Homer's  _ The Odyssey _ . 

Tony, on the other hand, held a respectable B plus in the class. Now normally, any typical teenage boy would accept this grade and move on. Hell, most parents would be thrilled just to know he wasn't failing. But Howard and Maria stark were not your typical parents, not that Bucky even knew that. More often than not, Howard didn't even bother to look Tony's way unless it was to reprimand, and Maria was kept busy with her country club friends and other such hoity-toity acquaintances. Tony got used to having to scream to be heard, hence the brash way he behaved when among friends and schoolmates. His rather extravagant, and not always successful, experiments in the chemistry lab with Bruce were the stuff of legends.

But back to the point, Tony'd been acting off all day. During their English period, he could barely seem to hold focus on the assigned reading and subsequent pop quiz, and when said quizzes were returned to them graded and dripping in red ink, Bucky caught sight of the bright and glaring D that graced stark's paper. He stifled a wince at the way Tony's face dropped and turned ashen, before quickly morphing into something indeterminable. He was hiding his emotions, bottling them up to explode later, the way Howard had taught him.

The rest of the day was marked with radio silence towards Bucky, which wasn't out of the norm, but you'd think having just received an invitation to sit with them that Tony would make some sort of acknowledgement to Bucky's existence. Oh well. Live and let live, right? 

Squaring his shoulders and straightening his spine, Bucky chanced a glance toward the jocks' table, stepping forward upon Steve's eager smile and thumbs-up. Clutching the tray in his hands, he tried not to draw too much attention as he took his proffered place next to Scott Lang. Seven pairs of eyes turn on him, and Bucky's stomach drops all the way through the floor.  _ shit. So much for discreet, Barnes. _

"Pay no mind to the hulking defensive linemen in the corner, we have business to take care of." Tony's words and demeanor commandeered the table, the attention swinging over to their undeclared leader as he proceeded to rant about some new project he and Bruce must be working on. That is, all the attention except for Tasha's. She was sitting at Pepper's right side, two bodies away from Bucky, and her unwavering eyes met his with scrutiny. They had gotten rather close while she and Steve were an item, and he was sure this was as weird for her as it was for him. His shoulders lifted and sagged in a shrug, and he knew well enough that the look on her face meant they'd be talking about this later. For now, Bucky dug into what looked like was supposed to be meatloaf, as Stark's voice faded into the background.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

Before he could so much as step outside of the main building to start heading to the buses, Bucky's good arm was grabbed tight and he was pulled off to the side. Panicked blue eyes met fiery green ones, and a part of Bucky was extremely relieved. Being grabbed by a stranger was one thing but Tasha's stern talking-to's? Those he could handle. hell, part of him even missed them.

"Look, I don't know what Steve put you up to, but I promise you it is not worth it. Don't mess with Tony, alright? Or any of us. We've all been through way too fucking much." The words seethed from between near-perfect teeth, and Bucky couldn't deny the way his stomach tightened a bit. Tasha could be really fucking scary when she wanted to be. 

"Stevie ain't putting me up to nothing, Tasha. I gave Tony his notebook back and he invited me to sit with you guys, alright? No harm, no foul. swear." Bucky moved to raise his flesh arm up in surrender, his prosthetic arm catching up a few moments later. The thing was damn near useless, but it beat walking around with an even more useless stump.

Tasha looked him over for a minute longer, scrutiny clear in her gaze before she finally stepped back and nodded once, before walking off in the direction of her house. Bucky let out a breath he didn't realize he was even holding, and cursed when he saw that his bus had already pulled away and ridden off. He'd have to make the twenty minute trek home on foot. God  _ damnit _ , Tasha.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Despite the snow dampening the soles of shoes as a result of the holes in the bottom, Bucky's walk home was going well. Headphones in, no one bothered him, and that was a godsend. See, despite being a permanent installment in the "popular" clique and a veritable football star regardless of his disability, people still pointed and stared. Little kids and even some rude adults would prod and ask questions, and though Bucky knew the kids didn't mean anything by it, it still brought attention to something he'd rather not be reminded of.

Mid-Backstreet Boys song, Bucky gets hit with a snowball. not even hiding his eye roll and subsequent grumble, Bucky removes the headphones from his ears and turns to the right, and the venomous words die in his throat because there's Tony Stark, in all his glory, car window rolled down and hands covered in melted snow. 

"Get in, loser, we're gonna give you a ride home." 

His eyebrows raise. "We?" And all Tony does is motion for Bucky to come forward. Ignoring all the contradictory feelings in his gut, Bucky goes and gets himself settled into the passenger seat. This is his  _ crush  _ of five years offering to give him a ride home. What was he supposed to do? Say no?

"FRIDAY, she's like my own version of Siri only much cooler, far more intelligent and she takes after my superior sense of humor." Stark states flippantly, tapping on the touch screen embedded in the dashboard until a voice with a Scottish accent crackled through the speakers.

"A pleasure to meet you, Mister Barnes. Please buckle so that Boss can get going." The voice politely instructed, and Bucky grabbed for the seat belt immediately. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion, giving Tony a dubious look. Everyone knew Stark was loaded, or rather his parents were, but a damn smart car? This was something straight from Bucky's dreams. Tony merely gave him a shrug and proceeded onto the route, with Bucky directing him, despite FRIDAY offering to take over multiple times. 

There was something… oddly serene about this. Driving through the mostly empty streets piled with snow, Tony's fingers tapping against the wheel as he mumbled something about some project he and Bruce had in the works, Bucky nodding and giving light input when needed. This was… easy. Something he could get used to, given the chance.

"That'll be $5.75, please." Stark's wit cut through the amicable silence, letting the joke rest for a beat before he gave Bucky a heart-stopping smirk. Bucky responded with a half-grin of his own, tucking a piece of his hair back with his good arm as he then moved to open the passenger door. 

"Thanks, Stark. See you tomorrow."

Tony drives off with nothing more than a nod, which is more acknowledgement than Bucky received all day, which was a welcome change. He shakes his head, fumbling for his keys in his pocket to unlock the front door. "Hey, Becks, I'm home!" he calls up the stairs, rifling through the small pile of mail he'd collected from the mailbox. Bills, bills, garbage ads and more bills. Looks like Bucky'd have to pick up extra shifts at the diner this week and bother the neighbors to keep an eye on Becca.  _ Again _ .

The smile's back on his face as soon as he enters their room, stepping forward to drop a kiss to Becca's cheek in greeting. She gives him a knowing look from her spot on her bed, eyebrows raised and expecting. "Well? You gonna tell me why some handsome guy in a car worth triple our house dropped you off today?"

Bucky's face drops sheepishly, although a small spark of anger lights in his stomach. "Damnit, Becks, I told you not to get up at all, alright? We don't need another like the last 'un." She sighs dejectedly, not bothering to suppress her eye roll. To her, he was just like any other protective older brother. To him, she was the last bit of real family he had left in the world, and he'd do anything to keep her here for as long as possible. Including breaking the heart of the one guy he'd always pined for. Blood will always be thicker than water, Bucky thinks to himself as he starts in on telling Becca all about his day.  _ Just a few more weeks.. We'll have that money and Tony Stark and this shit town will be nothing more than a memory.  _ Or so Bucky tells himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and criticisms always appreciated! xx


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a very specific image of this chapter in my head when i wrote it so i hope you all are able to envision it as well as i did. a bit of filler, but we'll be getting the plot really going after this. i own nothing but the storyline. enjoy xx

Bucky's about about half an hour into his session on the treadmill when Steve, Thor and Clint make their way into the gym. As much as these guys are his best friends, Bucky really just wishes they'd let him be for now. Ever since he agreed to Steve's half-baked, idiotic plan Bucky’d been subjected ot even more inane conversations and invitations to football parties than usual. Which, typically for Bucky, meant babysitting Steve while he downed shots of tequila and tried his best to bury the pain of his break up with Natasha inside some poor, unsuspecting - usually red haired - girl. He held back an exasperated groan as the man himself stepped up to Bucky’s side and smiled as he leaned on the arm of the treadmill.

”Oh, Bucky dear, it seems I’ll be needing your expert wing-man services tonight at Chez Odinson, say 9:00? I’ll make sure it's worth your while this time, I _ promise _ ." And then Steve has the audacity to make that damned puppy face that Bucky wishes he could resist. His eyes cast over to where Thor has just set up the weights for Clint to lift at the bench press, and they both raise their eyebrows and turn away uselessly.  _ Thanks, guys. Some help you are. _

Bucky relented with a sideways smile as he removed his headphones, the distant melody of One Direction’s "C’mon C’mon" fading as he stepped off the machine to go join Steve by the leg press. Wasn’t really much point to building up his arms considering he only technically had one, although he did his best to maintain whatever muscle he did have. He half-listens as Steve drones on and on about how he'll use the party as part of his master plan to win Tasha back, throwing in the appropriate responses when needed. As much as Bucky loved Steve, which was a whole fucking lot considering they'd been friends for nearly two decades now, he just couldn't stand the way Steve was around women. Though, honestly, most straight men in general were awful around women. 

The rest of Bucky’s workout faded into a blur of Steve's unnecessary monologuing and various 'help me' glances thrown in Clint and Thor's direction, but to no avail. By the time he's showered, dressed and exiting the locker room, Bucky can barely remember if he even put the weights back where they belong for the next patron.  _ Damn Steve and his fuckin' drama. Why can't he talk someone else's ear off for once? _

"See you at nine, Buck. Thanks again!"  _ Speak of the damn devil,  _ Bucky thinks to himself as Steve hurriedly pats him on the back, which,  _ ow _ , Bucky sarcastically salutes him, sighing quietly to himself and beginning the walk home as Steve drives off into the distance. Back when Steve first got his beloved Chevy Impala, which he boldly named Dot, after his kindergarten sweetheart, Steve would constantly badger Bucky into letting him give him a ride to and from the gym. One Steve learned that this impeded on Bucky’s sense of pride and independence, he stopped pestering as much. In all honesty, these walks were some of the only times Bucky got any peace and quiet to just think and spend time with himself. As much as he loved tending to Becca, he loved to soak in the moments of solitude when he didn't have to worry constantly. 

God knows he'll need peace before this trainwreck extravaganza of a party.

\---------------

The sound of two obnoxious honks breaks through the sound barrier, and Bucky’s m attention is brought to the front yard where Steve is parked, sitting in the driver's seat and scrolling on his phone, No doubt texting Bucky that he'd arrived. "Alright, Becks, I gotta go, but the Levy’s will be here 'till I get home, okay? Please behave," Bucky bends to press a kiss to her cheek, and resists the urge to narrow his eyes when she rolls hers, "And no orderin' out, I’m sure Martha’ll be happy to whip you up somethin' home cooked and healthy if you ask." 

"Yeah, yeah, don't come back 'till you get laid." She dismisses him with a hand tossed in the hair, and he gives her his signature fond smirk as he grabs his letterman jacket and heads downstairs to make sure the Levy’s have all the emergency supplies and numbers they need, despite the fact that they've been helping with Becca for three years now and knew the numbers backwards and forwards. Bucky just wanted to make sure he always did everything he could to protect what was left of his small family.

Steve wore an easy smile as Bucky climbed into the passenger seat, greeting him with a curt "hey, man," and a nod of acknowledgement. He offers Bucky the aux, knowing that the party's music selection was, predictably, not going to be up to par with his taste level. Bucky presses play on New Kids on the Block’s greatest hits album, allowing Donnie, Joey, Jordan, Danny and Jonathan to lull him into a false sense of calm as they approached the Odinson household. Cars were already lined around the block, and Bucky registered in his peripheral the image of Tony Stark’s souped up vehicle parked in the driveway. of course he'd be here, he and Loki had been steady friends since middle school, getting into all kinds of legendary mischief that included the time they dyed bleached Thor’s eyebrows in his sleep. Thor, being the lovable idiot and endlessly optimistic doof that he was, simply noogied his brother and embraced the look. He had entered high school a class clown already.

As soon as they enter the house, Steve and bucky are bombarded by the smell of sweaty drunk teenagers, and hugs and handshakes with the football team. Bucky can see Erik and Clint rolling a joint on a stray couch, and interestingly enough, Wanda seems to be perched on Clint's lap. Huh. Bucky chalks it up to people doing strange things when they're under the influence and goes about locating the kitchen so he can get some grub and a beer. By the time bucky's got a full solo cup and a bag of chips in hand, Steve's already fucked off to find his flavor of the night; a busty brunette named Darcy.  _ Gag me with a spoon _ .

"Fancy seeing you here, Robin. Where's Batman? too busy playing swallow the tongue with Catwoman to be a decent wingman?" Tony seems to all but magically appear at Bucky's elbow, nursing what seems to be a toxic mix of rum, coke and whatever else he could get his hands on. Bucky winced, knowing that Stark'd regret that combo in the morning. 

"Nice to see you, too, Stark. Didn't think this'd be your scene. no research needing to be done for your colleagues at NASA?"

The corners of Stark's mouth lift in a facsimile of a smile. "Nah, too busy thinking of poses for my next ten page spread on Popular Mechanics." The shorter man leans back against the kitchen counter, eyes seemingly moving a mile a minute in an effort to look anywhere else but at Bucky. There was something sinful about the way that letterman jacket accentuated his broad shoulders, and Tony was too full of liquid courage that holding back a flirty comment was taking nearly all of his self control. 

"Tones, c'mon, Lang's setting up flip cup in the backyard and we're gonna need your expertise if we plan on winning." Rhodes pipes in, head peeking from around the corner where there was a sliding glass door that lead to the aforementioned backyard. Bucky curses internally. How in the hell was he supposed to woo Tony before the spring fling if everyone and everything would stop interrupting their flow of conversation.

"Duty calls. See you around, clucky." Tony pushes off the counter with a salute, and Bucky all but chokes on his beer, shaking his head with a grin as he watches stark and Rhodes scurry off.

"Bucky! It's Bucky!" He calls, uselessly, after Tony's retreating form, voice drowned out by some god awful Billie Eilish song.

\-----------------------

All hell breaks loose to the tune a catchy Harry Styles song. One minute, Bucky and Thor are laughing as Erik and T'challa are all but killing each other in the midst of an arm wrestling match, and the next they're rushing outside with the rest of the crowd to see what all the screaming is about.

Steve and Natasha are planted firmly in the loosely formed semi-circle, and by the looks of things, Tasha's mere seconds away from ripping Rogers' head square off his shoulders with just her words. Bucky can all but see the fumes exiting her ears.

"You have no fucking right to be jealous, Rogers.  _ You  _ cheated on  _ me! _ " The words leave her mouth in a hiss, a pointed finger jabbing in Steve's direction before continuing. "Not that it's any of your goddamn business but Bruce and I are  _ friends _ and nothing more. It's too bad you'll never know what that's like considering you prefer to fuck everything that breathes near you."

Mouths dros open and quiet, stifled laughs are hidden behind beer bottles as the crowd witnesses Steve's ears turn red, chest heaving with every huff and puff. and then Tony fuckin' Stark steps between the lions, noticeably tipsy but charming all the same. "Now, now, ladies and germs. I'm sure we can all get along, yeah? How's about a bit of a show, hm?" Looks of wariness and confusion are passed around, and Nat's already stormed off to join Pepper back inside the house, no doubt arranging a way to leave discreetly. "First, I'll need my lovely assistant. Bucky, dear?" 

Bucky's eyebrows shoot up damn near close to his hairline, stumbles over his feet a bit and gives the crowd a terse grin and nods in acknowledgement stood stock still by Tony's side. He watches and the shorter male seems to materialize several items from thin air; aluminum foil, a lighter, a tube of some brown gunk and an empty toilet tube. He hands the foil over to Bucky, instructing him to do his best at wrapping foil around the tube. Murmurs are heard among the remaining crowd, half of them having ditched after the fight fizzled out. Steve was licking his wounds with Sam in the corner, although his interest seemed to pique at the sight of Tony and Bucky together.

"Scoop that inside of the tube, darling. Perfect, beautiful, thank you." Tony mutters, and Bucky has to admit that witnessing his genius so up close and personal is definitely a life event that goes to the top of his list. The way Tony's abandoned his alcohol in favor of the project in front of him, the subtle crease in his brow and the pink of his tongue darting from between his lips in stern concentration as he places the finished product on the cement are sights that will be ingrained in Bucky's mind forever. And then Tony lights the fuse.

Literally.

  
Gasps of awe resonate all around as the makeshift smoke bomb shoots off bright lights, a mix of purples and silvers, casting an ethereal glow on the maker himself. The satisfied little smirk on Tony's face is  _ everything _ , and as he turns his head to glance over to Bucky, Bucky can't find it in himself to look away. There's a reflection of light in Tony's  _ fucking beautiful brown eyes _ , and Bucky is so,  **so ** fucking screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and criticisms are always appreciated. xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i struggled a bit with this chapter but!!! we are finally getting this underway. i own nothing but the plot. enjoy xx

_ youknowwhoiam  _ has followed you!

The notification comes in as Bucky's just finished his shift for the night, the ache in his bad shoulder just starting to err the side of absolutely fucking intolerable. He really needed to make a note to his doctor about looking into any other options he may have than the half crocked prosthetic he had currently hanging at his side. Bucky almost thought he was better off with no prosthetic at all. Unfortunately, people tend to look at you funny if you head to the supermarket for milk with one arm. 

Bucky clicks on the profile, and all but chokes on his spit when Tony's pictures load up on the scree. There's a distinct lack of selfies gracing the page, but Bucky can immediately tell it's Stark from the various photos of Scott having fallen asleep in the funniest places, Banner seemingly working hard in the robotics lab at their school, and then there's a photo of the fancy dashboard of his car that Bucky would recognize anywhere.  _ How did he even find me?  _

Well, maybe it wasn't  _ that  _ far of a stretch to go from Steve's account to his own. Steve had a decent amount of followers, and even though Bucky begged him not to tag him in photos, Steve went against his wishes every single time. Not that Bucky had anything to hide, mind you. His social media was just rather… sparse, for a high school football player. Random shots of books he'd read, the occasional photo of a meal he'd found the time to cook and various things he felt were worthy of memorializing on the internet. Nothing he thought would pique Tony's interest.

Bucky's phone vibrates with another notification.

_ youknowwhoiam has sent you a message. _

He throws caution to the wind and clicks on it.  _ Fuck.  _ Hopefully that didn't make him seem to eager, opening the message right away like that. Oh well. The damage was done.

_ youknowwhoiam:  _ My lovely assistant! Hope this isn't too weird, but I realized I don't have your number and I need the assignment from our lit class. Many thanks in advance. 

_ youknowwhoiam:  _ Also, I see you're into the whole Greek mythology/literature thing???

_ youknowwhoiam:  _ Highly recommend The Song of Achilles. Just saying. 

_ youknowwhoiam:  _ Okay thanks!

Bucky blinks twice, and doesn't even have to think before immediately going over to the Amazon app, searching The Song of Achilles, and tapping the "buy now" button. He could excuse spending fifteen bucks of bill money if it meant he'd be that much closer to Tony Stark. And then he remembers that he left Tony on read, cursing under his breath as he scrambled to find the assignment

_ jbb_02:  _ Hey! Srry, wus just lookin for the syllabus. Looks like u jus gotta read chapter 7 of the txtbook! 

_ jbb_02:  _ Thx for the book rec btw!! :D

_ youknowwhoiam:  _ No problem, thank  _ you  _ for the help. 

_ youknowwhoiam:  _ Oh for fucks sake chapter 7's all about Beowulf (eye roll emoji) I'd rather have a car battery strapped to my chest than read this shit

Bucky can't help the giggle that falls from his lips, grabbing a bottle of water as he moved over to the couch in the living room. Becca was already settled and asleep, drifting off to the sound of Bucky's voice telling the tale of Odysseus facing off with a cyclops. That was always Bucky's favorite part, and seeing the way Becca's face lit up with emotions as he read was enough to keep Bucky warm from the inside out.

_ jbb_02:  _ I feel u. The first time i read tht it almost put me 2 sleep. Maybe i could help u out? Give u the general rundown so u wont have to read so much

His heartbeat steadily rises, looking over the words over and over again to make sure they're okay. Shit, he knew the plan was to get close to stark, but Stevie had no idea just how nervous and intimidated Tony made Bucky feel. There's just something about that snarky-adorable-super fucking intelligent combo that does something to him. 

_ youknowwhoiam:  _ 463 674 4498

That's… that's Tony Stark's fucking phone number. Holy shit? Bucky doesn't know what he did to deserve this, but he thanks every single god in existence as he eagerly taps the screen with his stylus. Steve bought the pen as a gift for Christmas, figuring that it'd be easier for Bucky than fumbling with his one good hand. In all honesty, it was one of the best gifts Bucky had ever received from someone that he wasn't blood related to. As much as Steve got on his damn nerves, Bucky did love him like a brother.

  
  


_ Hey! :) Itz bucky  _ **sent 7:45 pm**

_ You football players really have such a steady handle on grammar don't you?  _ **received 7:46 pm**

_ And just so you know, I saved your contact as Rick Allen. Hope that doesn't offend you.  _ **received 7:46 pm**

_ Dw the only way tht could offend me is if i knew who tht was  _ **sent 7:48 pm**

_ Good god man, do you live under a rock? the next time I see you, I'm downloading Def Leppard's entire discography onto your phone.  _ **received 7:50 pm**

_ Sounds gud to me :D  _ **sent 7:50 pm**

_ U ready 2 learn about Beowulf?  _ **sent 7:51 pm**

_ That depends. you ready to turn your autocorrect on?  _ **received 7:53 pm**

\------------------------------------------

Bucky and Tony spend the next few days bonding over Beowulf and random memes sent in the middle of the night, and come Monday, Tony tells Bucky that he feels confident enough to believe that he'll pass the test on that godforsaken book. He doesn't explicitly say thank you, but Bucky finds some rather expensive chocolates stuffed inside his locker before lunch. The kind drizzled with caramel and stuffed with peanut butter, Bucky's exact favorites that he remembers telling Tony about that past Saturday morning. The smile doesn't leave his face for the rest of his day, and Tony sends a wink his way when he catches Bucky licking the melted residue off his fingers between classes.

"Buckaroo! How's it going, dude? Any progress on Operation Twink?" Steve's voice grates his ears, and an arm is thrown around Bucky's shoulder as they head over to the gym for some indoor practice after school. He doesn't even bother hiding his exasperated breath, turning his face to glance at his best friend.

"I really wish you'd name it something else. But, it's okay. I got his number. Helped him ace a big test." Bucky shrugged, tossing his backpack to the sidelines alongside everyone else's. Thor and Erik were already doing push-ups and squats, shirts long forgotten and Bucky witnessed as a small group of girls in the stands giggled to each other. It was times like these Bucky was glad he was gay. 

His train of thought is quickly derailed when Steve grabs him by both shoulders now, a shit-eating grin stretching across his face. "Buck, that's great! This means constant contact! Flirting!  _ Nudes!" _

Bucky chokes on his blue colored Gatorade.

_ "Steve!  _ You are outta your goddamned  _ mind  _ If you think I'm sending  _ anyone  _ nudes! I've seen how those things get around, especially 'cause  _ you're  _ the one sendin' 'em around.”

"Hey, hey, in my defense, Darcy was totally okay with me sharing them! And you're right. you shouldn't text Tony any nudes." Bucky exhales, relieved. 

"You should snapchat them."

The resounding  _ slap  _ that seems to echo in the open air satisfies Bucky, Steve laughing loudly and holding the back of his head turned red from the momentum of the hit.  _ Goddamn Steve.  _

\-------------------------------------------

_ Bucky?  _ **received 12:21 am**

_ Im sorry i know its late  _ **received 12:22 am**

_ Do you think you could help me out  _ **received 12:24 am**

_ I just really need to be anywhere but home right now  _ **received 12:26 am**

_ fuck im sorry ill try Bruce i hope you're sleeping well  _ **received 12:32 am**

_ Omw might take a bit on foot  _ **sent 12:33 am**

_ I'll meet you halfway. The park on Atlantis with the fountain in the middle.  _ **received 12:33 am**

\--------------------------------------------

By the time Bucky reaches the park, it looks like Tony's been sitting there for a while. A sweatshirt's pulled over his small frame, the hood pulled up and over his head. Bucky's bundled up, too, hand stuffed into the pocket of his pullover with a winter coat layered over it. Now that he thinks about it, Tony seems wildly under dressed for the weather in what seems to be the world's thinnest pajama pants.

"Tony? You okay?" Bucky keeps his voice soft, as he settles in next to the brunette on the swing set. The fresh snow casts a gentle light in the places where the streetlights can't reach, and when Tony lifts his head to reveal a shiner the size of Texas on his right eye, Bucky sees red.

"Couldn't be better, snowflake." Tony's words are terse and lack any sort of truth behind them, and he hides his pain with a half-lifted grin. There’s no way Bucky's buying it. 

Bucky shifts in closer, knowing that Tony can see the clear look of concern and misunderstanding on his face, and doesn't judge him when the smaller man flinches in response to Bucky reaching out to gently lay his hand on Tony's shoulder. He's no expert in the field, but Bucky knows when a dog's been beat around a little too often. He makes a mental note to kill whoever did this to Tony.

"Look, um, I just. Just needed to clear my head a bit, alright? Let's not make a soap opera out of it."

Bucky nods reservedly, moving back to give Tony some space and allowing the sounds of crickets to fill the dead air. He remembers coming to this very park after Becca got diagnosed with her condition, and then again a few nights after his parents died. If there was any place where Tony might have some semblance of comfort, it's here. There's just something about the solitude and the way the trees part just perfectly to give a window view to the sky, where stars are able to shine brightly without any city lights getting in the way. 

Tony inhales and exhales deeply a few moments later. "Well, thanks. I guess I should be heading out. Sorry to drag you all the way out here, especially in this weather. I'll be sure to send my condolences to your family when you die of hypothermia."

Bucky doesn't miss the irony in that statement. If anyone was going to die of hypothermia, it'd be Tony with the way he's dressed. And there was no way Bucky would ever risk dying before Becca was all healed up. She'd already lost her parents, she didn't need the pain of going through losing her brother, too.

His shoes crunch in the snow as he stands, teeth gnawing on his lip before he decides to speak. "My phone's always on, so. You can just call when you need. I'll even give you a special ringtone." 

Tony's smile goes sideways, and he turns to make his exit. 

Bucky doesn't realize until that moment that he left his prosthetic at home.

\---------------------------

_ Babysitting tomorrow. Wanna join me?  _ **received 1:20 am**

_ Are u sure? Arm might scare a kid  _ **sent 1:21 am**

_ Plus idk the family n idk how they feel abt stranger in their house  _ **sent 1:21 am**

_ Peter's a tough kid, and trust me, May'll be glad to see you've tagged along anyway. She's always on me about making friends who don't wear diapers and drool all over themselves.  _ **received 1:24 am**

_ Oh darn i guess i gotta change outta my depends then  _ **sent 1:26 am**

_ You're an idiot, Bucky Barnes. I'll pick you up at 8.  _ **received 1:27 am**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and criticisms are always appreciated!! xx


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i definitely struggled with writing this chapter but i really hope it came off the way i wanted it to. chapter contains domestic!buckytony and the world's cutest almost-two year old. i own nothing but the plot. enjoy xx

Bucky decidedly does not tell Steve about Tony’s invitation to babysit with him. One, because he knows for a fact that Steve will never shut the fuck up about Bucky willingly being around a small child because Steve knows how much children terrify him. And two, because Bucky maybe just wants to have one part of this whole mess that's just… theirs. If the operation goes belly-up, at least Bucky'll have this memory to hold onto in the end.

"Is that a stylus?" Tony's voice brings Bucky out of his cloudy thoughts, having just finished sending off a text to Steve to let him know that he wouldn't be able to accompany him on his annual post-Christmas shopping spree. Said shopping spree always consisted of Steve finding the perfect outfit for the Odinson's New Year's Eve bash, and thus, Bucky having to carry around nearly all the shopping bags in his good hand. Sometimes, Bucky swore Steve was worse than any girl he'd ever known when it came to materialistic things.

"Oh, yeah, Stevie got it for me 'cause he didn't want me fumblin' around on my new phone with only one hand."

He could practically see the cogs in Tony's brain starting to come to life. "There really isn't much to that prosthetic is there? It's about a step up from a peg leg, I'd say. Er, well, peg arm."

Bucky's shoulders lifted in a shrug, trying to hide the wince on his face from the tug in his bad muscle. He hated drawing attention to his injury, even though it's what he was pretty much known for. Big high school football star with only one working limb.  _ Hoo-fuckin'-ray. _

"I'm just saying, you could definitely benefit from functioning finger pads and a better mechanism to at least move your elbow joint. And I'm sure you'd prefer if it didn't need to be strapped over your shoulder, yeah? Imagine the benefits of it just being, like, actually part of you?" There's a brief pause and a breath, before Bucky flushes a light shade of red. Tony's eyes move sideways to glance at him, coughing a bit. "Sorry, ah, the inventor jumped out. Got a little too enthused. Sorry."

Before Bucky has a chance to reassure Tony that his ideas were something Bucky's definitely considered in the past, they pull up to the most quaint looking two story walk up he's ever seen. There's a pretty well kept little garden out front, where there seems to be a small pile of children's toys, as well. A red pail, a plastic little shovel colored blue, and a toy lawn mower. Something deep in Bucky's chest aches at the sight, and suddenly he's assaulted with memories of his parents and Becca and the beach in the dog days of summer. His hair was a dirty blonde then, and he reaches out to his Ma with two arms. Bucky shakes the vision and climbs out from the car.

Tony doesn't even have to buzz in, the front door being pushed open easily once he uses his set of keys. Bucky stands by his side as Stark uses a different key to access what he sees is the Parker's mailbox, grabbing the few envelopes stuffed inside and sifting through them while simultaneously walking the the door marked number 3. There's something so familiar and domestic about it all, and Bucky wonders just how long Tony's been taking care of this kid.

"Hey, May! May, Bucky. Bucky, May. Peter's super hot aunt-slash-guardian and light of my life." Tony gives the admittedly attractive woman in the living room a cheeky little grin. on her hip is a brunette boy no more than two years old, thumb in mouth and letting out soft distressed noises. Little guy must not be happy with his, well, mom-figure leaving the house. Bucky remembers how clingy he was with his own Ma, so he can sympathize.

"It's lovely to meet you, Bucky. Make sure this one doesn't burn down the building, yeah? I swear he could burn water." May jokes and drops a kiss to the top of Peter's head, one to Tony's cheek and plops Peter in his lap before grabbing her purse and calling over her shoulder as she heads out the door, "Emergency numbers are on the fridge! And no sex on the couch!"

Bucky's eyes turn as wide as saucers, cheeks turning impossibly red when he hears Tony's snickering.  _ Goddamn Stark. _

\-------------------------------------

"So, ah, how long've ya been doin' this whole babysitting thing for? Ya seem pretty close with Mrs. Parker."

Tony snorts, guiding a toy car over Peter's tummy as he lies on the rug, giggling away and swatting his chubby arms in the air. " _ Miss  _ Parker, who you can just call May, by the way, used to be my father's secretary. He treated her like shit, fired her, and I befriended her out of spite and mutual hatred for one Howard Stark. This little shit machine is just a perk." He replies with a genuine adoring grin thrown in Peter's direction, and  _ fuck  _ does Bucky wish it was meant for him. Not that he was, like, jealous of an actual baby or anything. Never that. He just never really witnessed Tony giving anyone any sort of genuine smiles up until just now. And already, he was addicted.

Peter starts to get fussy, giggles fading away into huffs and gentle whines, and Bucky watches as Tony seems to dive straight into babysitter mode. When Peter starts to wail seemingly out of nowhere, checking the diaper, feeding Peter his dinner of leftover macaroni and cheese, and even a sippy cup of apple juice to no avail. Tony gives Bucky a distressed look, scooping Pete up into his arms and lifting him in the air. "You don't see any scratches or bruises, do you? Splinters? Rug rash?" Tony's voice rattles on, and Bucky eyes the toddler with scrutiny, but there are no visible injuries as far as his eye can see.

And then a memory flashes in Bucky's mind. Becca's about three in this one, and she's sobbing for seemingly no reason as Bucky's Ma cradles her in her arms, gently bouncing her up and down. She's singing a song, quietly, something her parents passed down through generations. As he blinks back into the present, Tony squeaks when Bucky gathers Peter in his arm, stands up, and begins to  [ sing ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSZxmZmBfnU) in that same soft voice his Ma used to.

_ Somewhere over the rainbow…. _

\-------------------------------------------

When Peter's down and out for the night, all tucked in nice and tight in his little crib with his favorite stuffed rabbit by his side, Tony turns to Bucky with a raised brow. "So, when were you gonna tell me that you were secretly the  _ SuperNanny _ because this whole bedtime routine typically takes me a half hour and you had him passed out in no less than five."

Bucky grins, putting away the last of the dishes that were left in Miss Park-  _ May's  _ sink. Tony took care of the scattered toys in the living room, while Bucky set to work in the kitchen on putting dishes away, where he knew best. He shrugs. "Jus' remembered somethin' my Ma used to do for my baby sister. Becks was a very sensitive kid, so." 

Tony's eyebrows furrow a bit and he steps forward to grab a water bottle from the fridge. His gaze remains on Bucky, speaking as he twists open the cap. "Huh, I never knew you had a sister. How come none of us have ever met the lovely Miss Barnes, hm?" Tony questions, and there's just something so intimidating about this damn man and the way he arched his left eyebrow. A look that almost makes Bucky want to let the truth spill from his lips.

"She's, ah, home-schooled. After our parents… she just. It's hard. was hard for me. But harder for her. So." There. A half-truth, but a truth nonetheless. Tony's honey-brown eyes don't stray from Bucky's face, and for a half a beat Bucky wonders if maybe he had some sort of tell and Tony'd found him out. In the end, Tony just nods, and rattles on a diatribe about how much he used to love the  _ Wizard of Oz _ , too. His nanny, Ana, even had to re-purchase their copy of the video tape from how much Tony demanded to watch the film.

Bucky will never listen to  _ Somewhere Over the Rainbow  _ the same way again. He considers tonight a win. At least until Peter wakes up from his deep sleep with a soiled diaper.  _ Ugh. _

\------------------------------------------------

Tony doesn't invite Bucky again when he babysits peter the following Saturday. They've been pretty much speaking 24/7, whether it be through texting or, more recently, over the phone as Bucky walked to the grocery store or Steve's house or to football practice. Bucky genuinely enjoyed travelling by foot, something about keeping up his shape for football, as if he even needed to work on that immaculate body of his. Anyway, as much as Bucky loves his solitary walks, he enjoyed Tony's company, even if it was only over the phone. And Tony enjoyed his which brings us back to the point.

It wasn't that Tony didn't want Bucky to join him, but he didn't want Bucky to feel like he was monopolizing all of his spare time, he knew his football buddies must miss him, especially Steve. It was no secret that those two were practically brothers, and as much as Tony disliked Rogers, he knew how important he was to Bucky. They were always going places together, whispering to each other, being each other's wing-men. Tony was lucky to even get his moments with Bucky as it were. And something deep in his gut was saying that they wouldn't last.

"Hey, May! Just me this time around." Tony announces his arrival as he enters the apartment, a smile growing on his face when he sees Peter waddling around in the living room. His chubby little legs carry him over to Tony, where he reaches out to be held and Tony obliges.

May steps out from the bathroom, a flattering maroon dress encasing her form and a light smattering of blush on her cheeks as she raises her brow at Tony. "No boy toy tonight? Is everything alright in lover's paradise?"

Tony playfully rolls his eyes, "Not my 'boy toy,' May, and no, nothing's wrong. He's with Rogers tonight. Something about shopping or pissing contests whatever masculine men do when they get together."

"Rogers? As in Steve? That football jerk you're always telling me about?"

"The very one." Tony replies, making silly faces at Peter and reveling in his answering giggles. May gives him a skeptical look as she closes the clasps on her heels and slips on her jacket. 

"You sure you wanna bark up this Bucky tree, then? You don't wanna get involved with the wrong crowd, Tony."

"Oh, he's just a fluffer. Soften the blow before Rogers and his goons drench me in pig blood at the Prom so I don't telekinetically murder everyone. Don't worry." 

It's May's turn to roll her eyes, but she smiles and presses a warm kiss to Tony's head in that motherly way she's so good at. It's times like these that Tony's heart aches and he thinks of Ana. "You know I'll always worry about you, Tony. Have Peter in bed by seven and call me if need be, okay? Love you both!" She squeezes the two of them in a hug and moves to make her exit.

"Goodnight! And make sure he keeps his hands to himself, otherwise I slipped some heavy duty Stark-issued pepper spray into your purse. Have fun!"

Tony relishes in the sound of May's laugh as she closes the door, and then it's just him and Peter. 

He gives into temptation about an hour later, and facetimes Bucky while he attempts to give Peter a bath before bed. And when Bucky volunteers to sing to Peter over the phone, no one has to know that Tony drifts off to the sound of Bucky's voice, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and criticisms are always appreciated!! xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY GUYS IM ACTUALLY VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS CHAPT*ER I REALLY HOPE IT CAME OUT OKAY AND THAT YOU ALL LIKE IT AS MUCH AS I DO ENJOY xx

New Years Eve arrives in the blink of an eye, and all Bucky can do is hope that Thor's party goes off without a hitch, unlike the last time. Steve's got him all dolled up in one of the outfits he bought, claiming it as a “bonus” for all the good work he was doing with Operation Twink. May had offered to pay him on several occasions for all the time he spent with Peter and helping Tony, but Bucky didn’t feel right accepting money from her. He knew what it was to struggle, to raise someone with little to no means. Honestly, he was coming to really love May and Peter. He knew he’d never see them again if things went sour.

“Lookin’ handsome, Buckster. Tony’ll be drooling all over you as soon as you walk in, I bet.” The smug grin on Steve's face made Bucky wanna smack it right off, and he didn’t even bother to dignify that with a response. His torso is encased in a black cable knit sweater, both form fitting and comfortable. His jeans are a dark blue, with some "fashionable" tears stretching the fabric throughout. On his feet, instead of the usual torn up combat boots he always wore, were a new pair of Nikes designed to brave the snow, and his hair was stylishly disheveled, as Steve put it. He had to admit, this was the best he'd look in a long while, but he wasn't going to let Stevie know that. No need to inflate his ego anymore than it already was. 

The part of his mind that wasn't freaking out over the party and seeing Tony in a crowd again, was hyper focused on Becca back home. He truly did owe the Levy's a million and one gift baskets for being able to always drop everything and keep watch over Becks when Bucky decided to actually go out and have a life. Deep down, feelings of guilt and dread loomed in the pit of his stomach. The concerns sounding off in his head bore a striking resemblance to his parents.  _ Leaving your sister all alone on New Years Eve? What if something happens to Rebecca and you're not there? What if one day the Levy's decided not to help you anymore? What if you lose her, too? What if what if what if - _

But Bucky decided, in this new year, he couldn't live by what-ifs any longer. He knew those doubts swirling around in his brain were only out to get him, and if he gave them no power, they would simply fade into the ether. He sucks in a breath and steels himself, smoothing down the front of the sweater and turning to face Steve with a lopsided smile. "Yeah, let's get goin'."

\---------------------------------

Being that Steve's house was way closer to the Odinson's than Bucky's was, they had decided to go on foot. Bucky actually was planning on drinking at least a little bit this time, I mean, Christ, it was  _ New Years Eve _ , right? It wouldn't kill him to let loose this time around. and hell, if Tony was gonna be there and all dolled up, too, Bucky was gonna need that liquid courage.

Sam and M'baku make it a point to embarrass him as soon as he steps through the door. Wilson whistles and catcalls, and Bucky hears M'baku making some lewd comments and gestures, but he can't help the smile that forms on his face because of his friends' antics. They may be complete doofuses, but they're  _ his  _ doofuses. Clint and Wanda are paired off in the corner again, and Bucky makes a point to interrogate him about that at a later date as he gives them a small wave with his good hand. Rather than heading straight for the kitchen to grab a drink, Bucky decides to wander about in the living area for a bit longer.

He spies Pepper, Bruce and Tasha formed in a semi-circle with some chairs, seemingly engulfed in a rather passionate conversation. Funnily enough, Bucky catches a slight twitch in Tasha's hand, as it brushed up against the outside of Pepper's thigh.  _ Huh.  _ Well, good for them. Not that Bucky was assuming anything, he definitely wasn't, but Tasha seemed to always prefer people of the male persuasion. Honestly, she was better off being with someone as different from Steve Rogers as humanly possible. Pepper Potts was certainly the definition of it. 

Eventually, he plopped himself down on a mostly empty couch, Scott Lang and Loki Odinson occupying the other half. They seemed to be knee-deep in some video game, shouting and insulting each other left and right, but smiling and laughing all the while. God, he could remember doing the same thing with Stevie and Becks before all the shit went down. He swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat and decided to move his attention elsewhere, and that's when Tony decides to waltz in.

_ Good fucking god, take me now. _

Tony's got on the world's tightest black jeans, making it virtually impossible not to notice the curve of his ass. If Bucky thought his own sweater was form fitting, it was nothing compared to the way Tony’s fleece cream sweater morphed to his every muscle and crevice. The soft color did wonders contrasting against Tony's slightly olive skin tone, and Bucky had to double check that he wasn't drooling out the corner of his mouth when said hot-ass turned to face him and strode over with no hesitation. 

"Hey there, snowflake. I'm surprised to see you here, where's your other half?" Tony winces, making it a point not to glance where Bucky's left sleeve was filled out with his prosthetic. "Oh god, pun  _ definitely  _ not intended. Sorry. And I haven't even had anything to drink yet."

Bucky gives him a shit-eating grin, and he doesn't know where he gets the balls to manage this next sentence. 

"Why don't we go change that then?"

\---------------------------------

Bucky discovers that Tony's favorite drink is a vodka cranberry, and that they make him flush all over. Well, as far as Bucky's eyes can see. Tony keeps lifting up the hem of sweater and complaining about how hot it is inside the house with all these packed bodies, and Bucky discreetly licks his lips when he suggests they go for a little walk. Steve sends him a thumbs up and a not-so-subtle wink when he spies them walking out the back door, and he tries his best to ignore Tasha's very much not subtle death stare. He wishes he could telepathically let her know how much he actually cared for Tony, but then, he couldn't risk Tony or worse, Steve, finding him out. He really needed to be able to pay Becca's hospital bills, otherwise they'd both be out on the snowy streets of Indiana.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Bucky blinks as the smooth honey of Tony's voice brings him back to the present. He'd had his fair share of beers and a shot of whiskey, so forgive him for being a bit spacey. It's not everyday he goes on a near-midnight stroll with the object of his affection. Not that Tony was an object. He was very much human. And very much awaiting Bucky's response.

"Ah, just, y'know. reflecting. Been some year." He decides another half-truth won't hurt, and he focuses on the way his breath mingles in the air rather than the way Tony's gaze focuses in on him.

"I'd say so. I mean, the school genius and the football star becoming friends? Who would've thunk it. Straight out of a cheesy 2000's chick flick."  _ Oh baby, you have no fuckin' idea. _

_ …. Baby? _

Bucky chews on the inside of his cheek to avoid just blurting out the truth right here and now, because he can feel it in his gut that there's no turning back from this point forward. He's in love with Tony fucking Stark, probably has been for the better part of the past decade. And here he was, planning on breaking his heart all for some money and Steve's ego.  _ No.  _ This was for Becca. Becca, who he loved more than any dumb boy in existence. He'd rather lose whatever he and Tony had than lose the last real member of his family he had left. 

"Friends? Is that what we are?"

He doesn't know why he asks, but it makes them both come to a slow halt in their steps. Bucky can feel the way the air shifts, and there's something… charged in the way they've come to the end of Thor's block, half hidden behind some large trees and a stop sign. He imagines people in their homes are probably getting ready for the ten second countdown, Steve's definitely got his grubby hands all over some unfortunate soul and Becca and the Levy's are all geared up watching the ball drop on the television. His heart aches at the thought, and then before he knows it, he hears the gleeful cheering and banging of pots and pans and Tony's leaned forward and pressing those  _ fucking beautiful  _ plush lips of his to Bucky's slightly chapped ones.

All the sound gets sucked out of the world and he and Tony are in a little vacuum of time all their own, nothing mattering except the way Tony's hands have found their way to Bucky's jaw and Bucky's right hand resting on a hip. Their lips stay chastely closed, but it doesn't make the moment any less emotion driven, and when Tony finally pulls back and gives Bucky that little glimmering smile of his, a  _ genuine smile,  _ it takes all of Bucky's willpower not to dive right back in.

"Happy new year, Bucky Barnes." Tony's words are almost shy, which anyone who knew Tony knew he never got shy, and they make their walk back to the Odinson's.

Hand in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and criticisms are always appreciated!!! xx


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit of a filler chapter but!! lovey dovey bucky musing, more clint and bucky interaction, more becca and bucky time, and domestic!buckytony, gotta love that
> 
> enjoy xx

Clint's movements are a blur, that's how quickly his hands are moving. Granted, Bucky took several courses in sign language to be able to effectively speak with his friend without having to force him into lip-reading or speaking because he knew how self conscience Clint was about his voice, but _ shit. _Bucky could only read so fast, but from what he caught wind of, he knew Clint wasn't too happy to hear about the new developments in "Operation Twink." He seriously needed to get Steve to change that goddamn name.

"Look, Steve is my best friend. Yes, he's an absolute fucking idiot, but I love him. I wanna help him with this. Like you wouldn't have done it for that amount of money."

Clint goes quiet for a moment, and bucky knows that means he knows he would. Clint lets out a frustrated and resigned sigh, nodding and signing that yeah, probably would.

"Enough about me now, what's going on with you and that Wanda chick? And don't deny it, jackass, I saw her on your lap at that party last month."

Clint's hands go flying once again, only this time there's an added grin and a blush on his face. He nearly falls off his perch on edge of Bucky's bed, and Bucky stifles a laugh. Sometimes, he forgets how good it can be to just hangout with the guys without the added pressure of Steve looming over his back, or panicking to make sure no one finds out about Becca's condition. It's not that he's ashamed or anything of the like, he just doesn't want pity for him or Becca. They'd both gotten plenty of that at the funeral, and again when Bucky reemerged into society one arm down. 

Thankfully, Clint of all people understood that. He never once cast Bucky with a look of pity, although he did throw in a heavy dose of concern every once in a while. Living with a disability was enough hardship on its own. Neither of them wanted to feel like a charity case and both of them were strong enough to handle things on their own. Of course they asked for help when they needed it, but that was always going to be on their own terms. 

In so many ways, Clint was all the sides of a best friend Steve couldn't be. And as much as it killed Bucky to think it, sometimes he preferred to hang around Clint than anyone else. 

When Clint was around, Bucky really knew what it was to not be alone. 

\--------------------------------

"Sorry, Becks, didn't mean to get so caught up. I know it's late but we can squeeze in at least half a chapter, yeah?" Bucky smiles blithely as he approaches Becca's bed, getting settled in the reading chair he'd placed by her side about a year ago when she took a turn for the worst. She didn't need to be hooked up to any sort of machines or anything, thank god, but she did need to be resting a majority of the time. Bucky would give anything to have it so that Becca could experience a real, full teenage experience. 

She turns her face on the pillow to face her brother, giving him that heart-squeezing hundred-watt mega smile of hers, and everything is right in the world. "Don't worry 'bout it, Buckybear, it's not like I'll die if I don't hear about Odysseus' trek home."

Bucky could appreciate her morbid sense of humor at times, but something about this one just didn't set right in his chest. He gave her a sideways grin and a nod anyways.

"Plus, you know I love Clint. He's one of the only friends of yours that isn't a complete pighead. And that includes Stevie."

He can't disagree with her there, so he just laughs and ruffles her hair before grabbing the book from her nightstand and diving right back into the story. He watches her fall asleep to the cadence of his words, and admires the way she looks so youthful in her sleep. Before long, his eyes are slipping shut as well, and the dreams take him back to their childhood and all the things he missed. 

\---------------------------------

Baby spit up was something bucky did _ not _ sorely miss about Becca's childhood. Peter's lucky he's so damn cute, and Tony to boot, because otherwise he'd be on the next bus outta there. The little tyke's giving him that toothy _ damn irresistible _smile of his, and Bucky's disgust washes over with fondness instead. "Buh! Buh-y! Spin spin!" Peter cheered, and Tony laughed as he stepped over with a warm towel to clean at the mess on Bucky's shoulder.

"Don't think that's such a hot idea, bub. The centrifugal force of Buh-y's spinning will only help to produce more baby spew. Permission denied." The dry tone of Tony's voice carried as he finished cleaning Bucky and moved to throw the towel in the hamper, before effectively separating the toddler from Bucky's side. Peter'd been extra clingy lately, especially to Bucky, and thus Bucky and Tony dubbed him with a new nickname; Spider-tot. Tony even showed Bucky some designs for Spider-tot themed pajamas and toys he was planning on making for Peter.

They didn't really talk about the kiss. Not there was much to talk about, Bucky supposes. They were friends, they kissed, and now they were… friends that kissed sometimes? Honestly, they came at the most random times. Like when Bucky handed Tony his lunch tray at school, or when Tony dropped Bucky off at home after school, or when Tony was rambling about some project or another and Bucky just couldn't resist kissing him with his eyes lit up like that. Steve watched it all with mirth in his eyes, and every time Bucky caught that look it filled his veins with guilt and dread. _N__o turning back, no turning back. _He'd kept those words like a mantra in his head, and part of him was preparing to bear with the consequences of his actions, should it end horribly. Which it would. He knew this.

"C'mon, Spider-tot's gotta go wash his little spider-butt in the tub before spider-mom gets home and complains about all the spider-stink." Peter's bubbly little giggles floated down the hallway as Tony carried him off into the bathroom, and Bucky put himself to work at the sink. They'd fallen into a bit of a domestic routine. They'd get settled in as May left, Tony would get to occupying Peter while Bucky made do with whatever was in the kitchen, and the three of them would eat together. Then they'd have playtime, during which Peter usually preferred to either play with his blocks or nag Bucky into spinning and tickling him. Then, Tony would cart him off for a nighttime bath while Bucky cleaned up, and they'd both keep careful watch as he slept after Bucky sang to him. Often times, it'd end up that Bucky would watch both Peter _ and _Tony sleep. 

Bucky was falling, and falling fast. and he couldn't even bear to know if Tony felt the same. Not that he thought he ever would. Whatever communication the two participated in was usually convoluted and sprinkled with dry wit, courtesy of Tony. Bucky mostly kept to himself for fear of coming clean about everything. But when he got to see Tony around Peter, or those moments of silence in the school's robotics lab when Tony'd mess with his mediocre invention, Dum-E, Bucky just sat in the warmth that was his affection. He might as well enjoy it while it lasts, right?

"Enjoy what while it lasts, snowflake?" Came Tony's voice once again, a wet and sleepy toddler gnawing at his shoulder with a quiet coo.

"Oh just, uh, enjoying some time to myself without you wonder twins, of course." Bucky's poor attempt at a rebuttal came with a mismatched grin, and he released a breath he didn't realize he was holding when Tony gave him a grin right back and rolled his eyes.

"Le's go get this drooly baby to bed, yeah? Then maybe mommy and daddy can play." Tony muttered the latter under his breath so that Peter wouldn't hear, tossing a wink in Bucky's direction. 

A different kind of warmth settled low in Bucky's stomach now, playfully swatting Tony's arm and shaking his head with a smile as the three of them headed into Peter's room. 

_God, I'm fucked. And maybe getting fucked. Or doing the fucking. _

_You know what I mean. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and criticisms always appreciated!! xx


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: chapter includes some unwanted, inappropriate touching. if that bothers you please stop reading at "laughs echo..." and begin reading again at "where in the hell..."
> 
> basically, the group winds up at a very sketchy bar and some grimy idiot tries to feel pepper up without her consent. she uses her mini-taser on him.
> 
> enjoy xx

For Valentine's Day, the non-couples decide to head out for an evening of a pub crawl and some late night glow-in-the-dark bowling. Carol and Rhodey are on some "listlessly boring" dinner-and-a-movie date, according to Tony. Pepper, Scott, Bruce, and Tasha have decided to join Tony and Bucky on their outing, Loki having ditched on the plans to get into some trouble, no doubt. Bucky had a sneaking feeling that Clint and Wanda had their own plans for tonight as well. And while Bucky wasn't exactly sure how to define what he and Tony were, they were decidedly not an official couple, and so they organized things via groupchat. Bucky learned the hard way that he did not like groupchats. He muted the Football one a mere five minutes after being added to it in freshman year.

He can hear the ringing tones of Tasha's laugh as she walks beside Pepper, slightly tipsy off a few beers from the first bar they hit on the strip. Everyone's bundled up for the weather, snow falling at a slow and steady pace, but her cheeks are still flushed pink when she gives the red-head a smile that Bucky can only identify as her flirty one. when she turns to catch Bucky's stare, she fixed him with a dirty look that he knew she didn't really mean. He gives her his most charming little grin as he re-focuses on the smaller man to the left of him.

Tony's caught up in a conversation with Bruce and Scott, the tips of his ears turning red from where he's pushed his earmuffs back so that he can better hear his friends. Bucky shakes his head in that adoring way and reaches with his right hand to pull them back on, like a mother scolding her child. The lamp posts are decorated with paper hearts and red ribbons, and when Tony turns to give him the cutest scowl he's ever seen on a human being, the light hits him just right. Those big brown eyes sparkle and shine up at Bucky, and he doesn't even need to think twice as he bends down to quell him with a brush of his lips.

"Easy, tiger, I told you I don't put out until at least the third bar." Tony giggled through his words, stumbling a bit and leaning up against Bucky's side as he bit his lip. moving on his tippy-toes, Tony whispered into Bucky's ear. "But I'll make an exception for you, snowflake."

Turns out Tony's whispering wasn't as discreet as he thought, and they both laughed at the resounding groans of mock disgust from the rest of the group.

Bucky, in this moment, was happy.

\----------------------

The last bar they're meant to hit is a real dive. The floors are sticky with god knows what, the lighting is awful and there's a real questionable crowd gathered in the too-small space. They don't even have damn _ peanuts. _Bucky hates it and immediately wants to leave.

Too bad the rest of the group are already moving to grab drinks from the bartender, who, is pretty fucking sketchy on his own. There's just something… off in his eyes. Bucky's pretty sure one is glass. Speaking of eyes, Bucky keeps his on Tony as the smaller man joins Pepper at the bar, and Scott and Bruce move to make use of the billiards table tucked away in the corner. Tasha's nowhere to be found, until Bucky catches sight of her making a beeline towards where he's seated in a dirty booth.

"so, i see you two lovebirds have gotten your shit together. is there a reason you're not on a dinner-and-a-movie date?" Tasha's perfectly groomed eyebrow raises as she takes the seat across from him. she's the most intimidating person he's ever known, other than tony, and for entirely different reasons. tony was intimidating in that i'm-so-pretty-i'm-gonna-make-you-fall-for-me-in-five-minutes type of way. Tasha was intimidating in that hurt-my-friend-and-i-will-actually-snap-your-neck type of way. hence, his careful choice of words in every conversation they've had since the beginning of operation twink.

"We kiss sometimes, yeah. But just 'cause we kiss doesn't mean we want a label, alright? I don't exactly see you rushing to whisk Lil miss Pepper away from the group, hm?" He challenges her with his own raise brow look, a weak attempt at an imitation. her face flushes all the same. 

"I, uh, didn't think anyone noticed that." She mumbles, clearing her throat before meeting Bucky's eyes once again. "Look, clearly we both have a bit of a communication issue when it comes to these things. But,I am actually happy for you. Your intentions seem pure. But that doesn't mean I won't beat you to a pulp if you end up breaking his heart, Bucky Barnes. I don't care how long we've known each other. He's been through too much to have to deal with that pain. And so have you."

Bucky exhales for a long moment after she gets up to rejoin the group, which has now all gathered by the pool table where Scott seems to be knee-deep in a game with some bearded stranger. He soaks in her words, and there's that damn guilt again. One of these days, it was going to swallow him whole. He's only torn away from his thoughts when there's a commotion, and the biker guy has Lang pinned against the rotting wall.

Oh, good christ, here we go.

\------------------------

"I _said _ you fuckin' hustled me! I been playin' this game for damn near thirty years now, _ kid, _and no one's beaten me before. Now hand over the money before I pummel your fuckin' face in."

"L-listen, sir, I-I don't have that kinda cash! I barely have enough for lunch tomorrow!"

Laughs echo about the small space, and Bucky moves to go stand with his friends, a show of solidarity. He can see the way Tony's fists twitch, and before the small man can even think to intervene, Bucky shakes his head and holds him back. No point in two of them winding up in the hospital tonight. 

Biker guy's friend huffs and moves towards them, gruff voice slurring his words. "Well, if ya ain't got no money, we could always take another form'a payment. Ain't that right, Jim? How's about this pretty lil redhead, hm?" His grimy hands move to wrap themselves around Pepper's waist, leaning in to speak into her ear. "Tell me, does th' curtain match th' drapes?"

Before Bucky can move to end the fucker's life, Pepper's got a mini-taser embedded into his stomach and the guy's groaning in agony on the floor. Lang gives the group a look, and in the blink of an eye, once Tony tosses a wad of cash in the bartender's direction, they go running back out into the biting cold outside. Laughs are falling from Scott and tony's lips, Bruce has got the world's most worried mom's look on his face, and Bucky and Tasha decide to stick by Pepper's side to check in on her.

"Where in the hell did you pull that fuckin' thing from?" Bucky's voice is hoarse from all the running, and his chest expands with relief when he sees Pepper's smile and the grip she has on Tasha's hand. 

"Stark issued multi-use protection weapon. Comes with pepper spray, a knife, a stun gun and brass knuckles inside." She holds up what looks to be a simple house key, but when pressed a certain way, each feature is usable. "Thank god for small geniuses." She says with a grin, and by now they're in a safe enough area to slow down to a brisk walk. Tony and Bruce have started a snowball fight with Lang in the approaching park, and Tasha's walked off to join them once she's sure Pepper's alright.

"He sure has some ideas, doesn't he?" Bucky says, knowing that Pepper can detect that soft layer of affection to his words. There's a look of intrigue on her face as she glances him over, and she smiles to herself.

"Tony's got a million blueprints a minute running through that head of his at any given moment. But he only ever really creates things for the people he loves most."

And with that, she heads off to join the Great Snowball War, leaving Bucky to stand off near the entrance, nose red and mulling over her words. Tony Stark, loudmouth, sarcastic, genius. Tony Stark, lost, broken, but loving all the same. 

Tony Stark, heart of gold.

\-----------------------

  
When Tony walks Bucky home that night, his gloved hand slips into Bucky's left one. And even though he can't feel it, Bucky can certainly feel the butterflies filling his stomach the way water fills the ocean. _F__uck. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and criticisms always appreciated!! xx


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brief and vague mentions of child abuse in this chapter. and i'm warning you now to brace yourselves for the next one. it's a doozy. enjoy xx

"Be my date to the Spring Fling dance."

"... Please."

There's no real preamble to the moment Tony says those words, and it kinda makes Bucky choke on his tongue. They're sat in May's living room, Peter on Tony's lap as he chews and drools all over some teething toy and _ holy fuck Tony just asked me out??? _

Bucky feels like he's frozen, and by the time he's come to, he can hear Tony's wonderful voice rambling again. 

"Or, like, don't. You absolutely don't have to. I could always just go with Bruce and make it a boys' night out thing. Or even go stag with Pepper. Though I think she's probably gonna ask Nat. I just figured, cause, like, we kiss and stuff. Oh god. I'm stupid, this was stupid, right?"

_Say something, you idiot, he thinks you're rejecting him! _

"N-No. I mean! Don't go with those other people, Tones. I'd love to be your date. If you'll have me." He finishes the sentence with a fumbling grin, and there's not much time to breathe before he has a lapful of TonyandPeter, the bigger one dousing his face in kisses. The shiner he appeared with a few days ago seems to be fading, the bruising around his eye pretty much invisible to anyone who won't get this close to him. Which Bucky hopes no one is. 

"Thank you, thank you! I gotta go call Pepper, here!" Tony gently passes the kid over to Bucky, who's left sitting on the living room floor with joy in his eyes and hope in his heart.

In the very back of his mind, he can't help but think about how pleased Steve'll be when he hears this new development. 

\-------------------------

Steve's as pleased as a poodle with a new dog bone. "You're fuckin' kidding me, this is _ perfect! _I didn't think we'd get this far this quick! Figured we'd at least have to wait 'till _ prom _to have the big 'break up.' Oh, man, you're a genius, dude. I'm gonna pay you double."

Bucky gives him a tight smile, the two of them standing by the large window at the front of the gym as they work on the muscles in their legs. Snow is still falling in small amounts, but with the approaching springtime that March brings, the cold is beginning to give way. By the time the snow melts, Bucky will be down a friend, and two thousand dollars richer. He tries to stifle the tears that collect in his eyes at the thought.

"Yeah, uh, I can't wait. Finally gonna be free." He says, trying to muster up even a semblance of the happiness that Steve seems to be exuding. He always knew Steve had a pretty mean streak when it came to revenge, but there something just so wrong with what they were doing. Why couldn't he have picked literally anyone else to help with this plan? Why did he even care? Tasha seemed to be a far off memory for Steve, who's had his fair share of play since the break up. Part of Bucky hoped that he'd finally drop this whole fuckin' thing, money be damned.

Bucky's heart was in this now. And his wasn't the only one about to be broken to pieces come March.

\---------------------------

"You know, Buck, this May'll be three years." Becca's voice comes soft and soothing as she prepares herself for bed in the attached bathroom. This room used to be the master, back when their parents weren't six feet under. Once Becca had gotten diagnosed, Bucky made the executive decision to move her so that she wouldn't have to move around all that much in the long run. The more rest, the better, is what her doctor had said. That, and a heroic dose as all different prescribed medications, and Becks' heart arrhythmia would be regulated. Not cured, but regulated. All Bucky could do was make sure she followed those instructions, and pray for her every night. 

Not that he was ever that religious to begin with. His father had enforced the whole going-to-temple every Saturday thing, while Ma made sure to bring them to a church every Christmas Eve to hear the choir. But, once Bucky'd been about thirteen years old, he was pretty much able to figure things out for himself. While he wasn't sure about all this god stuff, he figured that there had to be _ someone _listening. So, he prayed. For Becca, for his parents, and most recently, for Tony. He wasn't too keen on exactly what was happening in the Stark household, on account of Tony not telling him and Bucky not wanting to be too invasive by straight up asking, but he knew in his bones that it was something rotten. 

"Yeah, Becks. Three whole years." He responds with a tight smile and a nod as he pulls back the duvet cover for her, watching closely as she sets herself in for the night. Normally, she'd huff and puff about the way he kept watch like a hawk, but something about tonight felt… delicate. "You miss 'em as much as I do?" He says, laughing softly when she wriggles under the blanket just like she always did as a kid. Some things never change.

"Even more, big brother." Her words are expelled with a sigh, and as she watches Bucky move to grab the _O__dyssey,_ she reaches out to stop him for a second. "Hey, what about that book you bought? The one Tony recommended. Think we could start that one tonight instead? I'm tired of Odysseus." Her words are dipped in playfulness, as is the small grin on her face, and he clears his throat, and acquiesces. 

"My father was a king and son of kings…"

\---------------------------

buck?? **received 2:38 am**

i amso sprry for always textingat the wirst times **received 2:40 am**

i reallyneed yoy **received 2:41 am**

im ciming over **received 2:42 am**

imsorry **received 2:45 am**

\------------------------------

Bucky stirs awake to the sound of rocks being thrown at his window. Grumbles fall from his lips at the feeling of his interrupted sleep, and he rubs his eyes as he makes his way over to the glass. He tries to blink the slumber from his eyes, and once his vision is cleared, he still can't really believe what he sees.

Tony Stark, about halfway up the garden lattice that lay on this side of the house. Bucky opens the window with a scrunched up nose, and whisper-yells.

"Tony Stark what in the ever loving _ fuck are you doing? _It's.." He glances over to the alarm clock on the nightstand, "3 in the damn morning. you know you could've used the front door, right? Or texted me?" 

The words die in his throat the second Tony crawls into the room. He's got on the world's thinnest denim jacket and not much else but some thin sweatpants. His chest is heaving, and Bucky can assume he more than likely ran here. His skin is ice cold, his eyes are watery with spilled tears, and there's fresh bruises on his cheek and what looks to be finger-shaped ones on his throat. 

Bucky could fucking kill someone. No, he was pretty sure he was _ actually _going to kill someone.

"Well, _J__ames,_ if you'd check your phone you'd see about seven missed texts and two phone calls from yours truly." Tony's words were shaky from both anger and sadness, and Bucky immediately began blubbering apologies, but Tony simply shook his head in defeat. "Just.. just come hold me, okay? You big lug. Make it up to me."

And so he did. Tony felt so small against him, curled up in Bucky's full size bed. His prosthetic is off, which made for more room, and also meant that he had Tony's full attention on what was left of his arm. His eyes shone in the moonlight casting from the window, and his fingers traced over the scarring with genuine curiosity. 

"Does it still hurt at all? Phantom pains?" Bucky nods, and Tony takes a few moments to bring his hand back up to Bucky's face where he cups his cheek and brings their foreheads together. "Thank you. For never asking. And for being there."

His words are a comforting whisper, and Bucky drops a gentle kiss to the center of his forehead as Tony drifts off. He hopes to god Becca doesn't find them like this in the morning, because he'll never hear the end of it.

Butt for now, he decides to savor the moment. No matter how broken it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and criticisms are always appreciated!! xx


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER. heart conditions, hospitals, and most of the sexual tags come into play during this chapter. it's a long one, so just strap yourself in and prepare for the worst. i am so sorry. xx

Bucky wakes up with hair in his mouth. Tony's hair. Because Tony fell asleep next to him last night. Shit.

He glances to where Tony's drooling on his shoulder, and he really can't resist the fond smile that slowly tugs its way onto his face. Tony looks youthful, at peace in a way Bucky's never really seen before, even with the marks on his face. God, he wishes he could just… kiss them away. Or make it so that they were never even there at all. He vows to himself that he'll do a better job of protecting Tony from now on, for however much longer they have together.

"Either kiss me or stop staring, creep." Tony's eyes stay closed for a moment more, letting the smirk on his face speak for itself. Then they flutter open, and Bucky's lost in those big brown puppy eyes of his. Really, his whole face should just be illegal. No one should get to be _ that _pretty. 

Bucky decides to bite the bullet and kiss him, right hand lifting to cup his jaw and wincing when he feels his left shoulder twitch as if to move as well, but obviously, that wouldn't be happening. Rony pulls back when he notices Bucky's pain, effectively shushing him and pressing soft kisses to his cheeks and nose.

"It's alright, c'mon, let's get some grub, yeah? Can't make out on empty stomachs." 

The lovebirds make their way down to the kitchen, Bucky making sure to peak inside Becca's room while Tony's making use of the bathroom. She's sound asleep, head buried under the covers to guard her fragile body from the freezing cold. Bucky reaches for the thermostat and bumps it up a few degrees, frowning when he thinks of the oil bill. But, he thinks, it's worth it if it helps keep Becca warm. 

"So we've got about.. three usable eggs here, some salvageable peppers and enough cheese to feed the United States army. Omelettes sound good to you?" Tony asks, even though he's already pulled out the skillet, buttered the pan and whisked up the eggs in a small bowl. He doesn't even give Bucky a chance to answer when he smiles and nods, "Good, 'cause it's the only thing I know how to make. Be a doll and get the plates out, yeah?" 

Something deep inside Bucky's chest aches at how _ domestic _ it all is. The easy way Tony fits into the space of the kitchen and the space inside Bucky's heart. How delicious the food smells, and the way he knows Tony dotes on Peter and helps Bucky remove his arm when it's giving him that awful pain. It's so painfully easy to picture Tony being here for the rest of their lives, how Bucky can picture taking him to his parents' grave to meet them, introducing Tony as his _ boyfriend._ Picturing Becks and Tony raising hell together, after she gets her heart transplant, of course. Not that that would be anytime soon. More people were in need of a new ticker than Bucky had ever imagined, and it hurt him something fierce that he couldn't just make it happen for all the names on that endlessly long list.

Speaking of Becca. "Let me go see if Becks wants any, hold on." Bucky slips off the counter, dropping a soft kiss to Tony's cheek as he wanders back up the stairs. He trusts Tony enough not to burn down the kitchen while he's gone. His eyebrows furrow when he hears a quiet thump, and shakes his head as he approaches Becca's door. She's always dropping _ something, _hence Bucky's term of endearment for his baby sister, Butterfingers. 

His heart drops to the bottom of the earth's crust when he pushes the door open and sees Becca slumped on the floor, chest still and Bucky's knees give out. Everything is a blur as Bucky yells for Tony to get some help, call the Levy's, call the ambulance, call _ anyone _as he immediately gets Becca in position to perform CPR. If there's anything good Bucky learned from that half a summer his parents were able to afford to send him to, it was this.

Their eggs burn as the medics rush Becca and Bucky into the emergency vehicle, and Tony follows in his car. 

\---------------------------------------

Bucky's stock still in the waiting room, and shakes his head each time Tony asks him if there's anyone he should call. May was already halfway to the hospital after she received a frantic text from Tony, and Bucky didn't need Steve anywhere near him right now. All he needed was to hear that Becca was okay, and a foolish part of Bucky's mind hoped and prayed that this was just some sick prank she was pulling like the time she tricked him into thinking she'd broken her leg. She'd gotten grounded for a week for that stunt, and the corners of Bucky's lips twitch as he remembers how he helped sneak her out that same night to go get some ice cream. If he lost her, that was it. He didn't want to exist in a world where he had no real family left. There would be no more Bucky Barnes.

It's been some hours now, how many, Bucky couldn't tell because time had seemed like an eerily unreal thing since he first found Becca on her bedroom floor. She must've been getting up to use the bathroom, or to get dressed or any number of things but none of that mattered now because here she was, fighting for her life in a hospital operating room that Bucky couldn't even go into which was some _ bullshit _ if you asked him. All he wanted was to hold her hand and tell her everything was gonna be okay. 

A sharp breath leaves him when the doctor finally walks into the waiting room some time later, after the sun had already hidden away behind the moon. "Family of Rebecca Barnes?" He asks, and Bucky ignores the butterflies that arise in his stomach when Tony immediately stands up and presses himself to Bucky's side. May had left about an hour ago, and Bucky thanked her for spending so much time comforting him when she had her own baby to worry about. Images of his Ma flashed in his brain of when she would hug him close and rub his back, and Bucky tried desperately not to break down right there on the hospital floor. Becca needed him to be the strong big brother he always was.

The doctor gives him a weary look. "Your sister suffered a pretty significant cardiac episode, Mister Barnes. the damage done to her heart over the years weakened the muscles and just that one movement of getting out of bed caused her heart to seize up." Bucky was pretty sure he must've been breaking Tony's fingers from how tightly he was holding onto his hand, and the doctor continued. "Luckily, we were able to get her in a stable condition enough where we could get the heart beating again. She'll need to be on several days of bed rest and then about a week of observation and rehabilitation, but your sister is a fighter, Mister Barnes. We'll have the nurse come out when her room is ready and you can see her, son." He finishes with a tight smile and a condescending pat to Bucky's right shoulder, and Bucky doesn't miss the glance he gives to where Bucky's left sleeve is left empty. As the doctor steps away, Bucky all but crumples into Tony's chest and sobs openly, not caring who can see. Becca was okay, and his family would stay whole.

As whole as it possibly can be when it was so fucking broken.

\-----------------------------------

Hospital chairs were really fucking uncomfortable. Tony had tried to pull some strings with the staff to get a second bed made up just so Bucky could be comfortable while he sat with Becca, but to no avail. He'd stayed vigil in the plastic chair at Becca's bed side, while Tony would leave every couple of hours to make sure he stayed fed and at least had some clean clothes to change into each day. Bucky made a mental note to make it up to Tony once Becca was all better and back at home.

"Bucky, babe, I really think you should go home tonight. Or at least come to mine. You haven't showered in days and you smell like the cafeteria food." Tony tried to get him to laugh, but Bucky's body honestly felt too exhausted to even lift his lips in a smile. Maybe Tony was right. But what if Bucky left and something bad happened again? What if he left and Becca finally woke up? The doctor had said medically induced comas typically took a bit longer to wake up from, but what if? He couldn't risk it. Seeing Becca alive and breathing and awake was more important than smelling nice. He didn't have to voice as much to Tony for him to understand. Tony just knew.

"Please, baby, I know you really wanna be here for when she wakes up but I'm sure she'll understand. Don't you want her to see you at your best? Hey, and you know what they say. Look good, feel good and all that. Please?" 

And yeah, Tony maybe had a point. So he lets Tony help him out of the chair, gives Becca a kiss on the forehead and mumble a "see you later," and the next thing he knows, Tony's unbuckling him and helping him back inside the Barnes household. He lets out a breath when they enter, glad that Tony didn't take him to his house, as much as he appreciated the offer. Bucky craved familiarity, and being home soothed his soul in ways he didn't know he needed. The Levy's must have been by because things are clean and straightened up and put away and Bucky has enough memory of that awful day to know how it was left. 

Tony lets Bucky sit on the closed toilet lid as he turns the shower on and makes sure the water is just hot enough, setting out a clean towel on the counter for when Bucky was finished, along with a cozy set of sweatpants and an old, over sized sweater. Tony vividly remembers when Ana had done the same for him when he was a small child, usually after one of Howard's drunken tirades that left Tony in snotty tears. 

There's nothing sexual in the way Tony helps Bucky undress, he just knows that Bucky was too weak, both emotionally and physically, to do it himself. He keeps his gaze pointedly upwards, and if Bucky were in a better mood, he'd flirt and tease Tony for being so chaste. As it is, he leans on Tony's side as he guides him beneath the spray of the water. When Tony turns to leave Bucky to it, Bucky doesn't know why, but he reaches to gently grab onto Tony's wrist.

"Be my left hand?"

Tony's answering smile is sleepy and _ gorgeous_, and Bucky doesn't have to ask him twice before he's stripped down and climbing into the small space of the shower, too.

\------------------------------------

Once Bucky's hair is washed and his body smells of lavender, he and Tony sit on the edge of his bed, waists wrapped in towels and arms wrapped around each other. Bucky allows himself to finally cry, louder and longer than he ever could anywhere else than in the comfort of his own home and Tony's shoulder. The smaller man is cradling him close, murmuring soothing words into Bucky's hair as he presses kisses there. It takes Bucky several minutes to gather himself, and when he pulls back to wipe at his face, Tony's thumbs have already beat him to it. Those brown eyes are wet and wide, and something shifts in the air surrounding them. It doesn't take but an inch for Bucky and Tony to lean into each other, and their mouths meet in a passionate and tentative embrace.

Their towels give way as Bucky gently lays Tony out underneath him, and he can't suppress the wanton moan that leaves his throat when he feels the evidence of their arousal meeting in the middle. Tony's lips are sinfully plush when he presses them to the long column of Bucky's neck, nipping and sucking between those feverish kisses and Bucky's length twitches in interest. They've never gone farther than some over-the-clothes grinding and quick handjobs in between classes, but they both know where tonight is going.

Tony looks sweet and serene, hair fanned out against the mattress and breathing staggered as Bucky's fingers stroke over his entrance, soaked in spit. Normally, Bucky would've been prepared for this, would wanna take his sweet time making Tony fall apart before finally getting inside, but everything about these moments still feels special and perfect and _ right._ Bucky's tongue drags over a nipple, and Tony's answering gasp only serves to spur him on further. He's got two fingers pumping steadily in no time, and even that isn't enough for Tony as he begs for more. The only words that are spoken between them are ones of desire, "please," and "deeper," and "need you inside." 

Tony doesn't need to hear the words to know that Bucky loves him. He can see it in the way Bucky's face twists up in concern as he slides home and Tony gasps into his ear. He can feel it in the smooth strokes of Bucky's movements, hips setting at a deep and slow pace. Tony's arms come to wrap around him, clinging to Bucky's back as the two of them chase their release. 

"Oh, god, oh Bucky, James, _James. _"

Tony's senses are heightened to eleven, and he can barely hold on. He can't help the way he shakes and cries loudly with his release, painting both of their chests white with how tightly their bodies are pressed together. He can't tell if the tears staining his cheeks are his own or Bucky's at this point, and he whispers soft words of praise into Bucky's ear as the man above him stills and comes deep inside, filling Tony with warmth. 

"That's it, angel, it's okay, I've got you, you did so good, made me feel so good." The words come with gentle kisses pressed to Bucky's temple, and it takes Tony a good moment to realize that Bucky is shaking like a leaf. Once he's cleaned them both off he grabs the clothes he set out for Bucky in the first place, and gets him ready for bed. He'd planned on roughing it out on the lumpy couch in the living room, but Tony can't refuse when Bucky's arm slides over his waist and pulls him in close, trapping them under the blankets together.

  
Bucky finally surrenders to the sleep he's needed for the past week, and Tony's left wide awake, watching Bucky's chest lift and fall, and _ god he's so in love. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and criticisms always appreciated xx


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so so sorry for this chapter. (try to) enjoy xx

Becca's finally discharged from the hospital two weeks later. The snow has mostly melted or turned into dirty heaps on the curb, and the Spring Fling dance is this Saturday. If it were up to Bucky, he'd skip out on the dance so he could keep a close eye on Becca's recovery, but Tony had already taken care of things by having the Levy's agree to watch her, and somehow was even able to convince her doctor to take a house call and spend the night with her. While this certainly helped to quell Bucky's doubts, he still just didn't feel right leaving Becca at home. So, of course, Tony'd installed security cameras and ensured that Bucky could access the feed 24/7, no matter where he was and no matter how shitty the wi-fi service was. He really owed Tony the world.

"Howard is insisting that we use his driver for the dance so Happy'll be picking you up at six o'clock sharp, okay, babe?"

_Babe_. Tony'd become very fond of using that pet name with Bucky. Not that he was complaining. Like, at all. He was just hurting something fierce thinking about the dance. He knew what he had to do. He had to dump Tony, had to break both of their hearts, except now it would be for real. Tony hadn't officially asked him out or called Bucky his boyfriend or anything, but the whole world knew they were dating. Steve would send him several texts a day asking how things were going, always giving Bucky a proud smile when he saw the pair in the hallways at school. Steve had no fucking clue just how deep in they both were. Steve didn't know that the Big Break-up would be real. He had no clue what Bucky was sacrificing. 

But it all came back to how much he loved Becca. How much he wanted to take care of and provide for her. He swore to himself, and to his parents beyond the grave, that he'd do everything he could to protect their little girl. Not that she was much of a little girl anymore. She and Tony had become thick as thieves in the time since she came home, Tony having apologized just about a thousand times for having finally met her under such awful circumstances. She'd shook her head and waved off the apology with a grin, and demanded to know all the dirty details of his and Bucky's relationship. Bucky didn't stick around long enough to hear the gossip about Becca's love life, which he didn't even really know she had. Some boy named Pietro on Instagram, Tony had informed him later. Pietro's account was private, and had very few followers, but Tony found ways around that, as he always did. Bucky had to hand it to him, he was significantly easy on the eyes, and seemed just as nice as his sister, who actually turned out to be none other than Wanda Maximoff herself. Small fuckin' world.

"Yeah, yeah I'll make sure I'm ready. My shift ends at 3 so that'll be more than enough time to get home and all gussied up." Bucky responds with a smile that doesn't really reach his eyes. Becca can probably tell something's up, but Tony simply nods and drops a kiss to his cupid's bow, bidding them both goodbye as he slings his messenger bag over his shoulder and leaves. 

Bucky's subjected to the Rebecca Barnes Inquisition that moment the door closes behind Tony. 

"So, you gonna tell me what's actually going on here, big brother?" She says, folding her hands in her lap and arching an eyebrow. She looks, scarily, exactly like their Ma. And Bucky knows she's gonna give him hell just like Ma would once he explains everything.

And so he does. Bucky spills his guts, rehashing the birth of "Operation Twink," details of their babysitting adventures, their New Years Eve kiss, that awful night at the bar on Valentine's Day, and he skirts around the dirty details of the night they made love for the first and only time, but Becca's able to get a pretty good picture of things.

He doesn't even flinch when she reaches out and smacks him hard on the arm. The flesh arm, that is. "James Buchanan Barnes, you are an absolute fucking _ idiot._ And so is Stevie. Well, no, I'd say he's more of an absolute fucking _ asshole_. You have to tell Tony the truth. And you have to tell him now." He means to tell her off for the inappropriate language and the fact that she shouldn't be exerting so much energy just yet, but she cuts him off with that stern look that instilled fear in him as a child when it was their Ma giving that look. "Tony deserves so much better than this. And so do you."

Bucky doesn't have to tell her how right she is. She knows. They sit in silence for a moment, letting the air settle before he moves to open tonight's book, and he reads with a tightened throat and a sinking feeling tugging deep in his gut.

\-----------------------------------------

"You know, for a man named Happy, Happy didn't seem to happy about having to drive us." Bucky speaks as he offers his hand for Tony to take, helping him out of the limo. Bucky couldn't muster the courage to tell Tony the truth in the days beforehand, and so here they were, walking hand in hand to their deaths. Or, well, the school gymnasium. Normally, it smelled like sweaty feet and looked a step above prison yard, but the dance committee made an extra effort to pass it off as a respectable space to hold the Spring Fling dance.

Origami flowers of all sorts were strung high on the ceiling, interspersed with pink and yellow fairy lights to give off a sort of dreamy atmosphere. There's more pink and yellow lights placed evenly throughout the gym, along with a giant banner with "Spring Flung" written in neat cursive. It's warm and it's beautiful and Bucky can't believe he's going to ruin it all. When it's all over, he's going to beat the shit out of Steve. Or maybe just never talk to him again. Yeah, that seems reasonable. He'll lose the man he loves _ and _his best friend in the whole world. No problem.

Speaking of the devil, Steve walks up to them, Darcy hanging on his arm in a beautiful wine colored dress that accentuated her figure in all the right places. Bucky greets her with a warm smile, and doesn't miss the glare Tony gives Steve as he pulls Bucky aside without so much as a "hello."

"Hey, man, you ready to finally be free of that fucking kid?" Bucky finds every last bit of self control he has not to just rip into Steve right then and there. "Alright, cool, that's what I thought." The words leave Rogers' mouth with a dry chuckle, and Bucky scrunches his nose up when he smells the alcohol on his friend's breath. "So I was thinking, you wait 'till there's like a quiet-ish moment, yeah? That way _ everyone _ hears. He'll be so embarrassed!" Steve's face is giddy and he's pink in the cheeks. Bucky imagines his head on a spike.

"Stevie.. can't I just, like, do it privately? I mean, as long as it happens, right? Everyone'll find out at school on Monday anyways."

"Bucky, Bucky, Bucky. You want the money right? Plus, this is _ my _ prank. Here, I'll even let you use my car whenever you want for a whole month." Steve is begging, and Bucky's nostrils flare. Steve takes his silence as an affirmative response, and simply pats him heavy on the back and wishing him luck before wandering off, not even bothering to collect Darcy.

"What'd the caveman want, hm?" tony's sweet voice is back in Bucky's ear, and he doesn't even try to hide the way his entire body sags in relief when he's in the presence of the smaller man.

"Nothin'. Nothin' at all, babe. Let's go enjoy ourselves." _W__hile we still can._

\-----------------------------------

Bucky's spinning Tony around in his arms, sweeping across the dance floor as All-4-One's _I S__wear _ crackles through the school's sound system. Their school budget must not have been enough to afford a DJ, but in all honesty, Bucky prefers this. There's something… homely about it all. Which is why when Steve rips him away again, it jostles him in ways he doesn't expect and his world tilts on its axis. They're stood outside the gym now, in the hallway just outside, and this time Bucky can't help but snap.

"Look, Steve, let me just enjoy this, alright? Tony and I were havin' a good time until you came along."

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you _ forget _ that none of this is real?" Steve's ears have turned pink at the tips, and Bucky can tell he's trying desperately to hold himself back from physically grabbing Bucky. "I'm _ paying _you to pretend to like that fuckin' priss. Don't tell me you've gone and actually caught feelings for him now." 

"You're doing _ what?" _

Bucky's eyes go wide, his back ramrod straight, and all the air in the room gets sucked out when he turns around to see Tony, stood holding the door open. There's a small crowd listening in behind him, and there's a wetness to his eyes that makes Bucky's heart clench.

"T.. Tony, Tony go back inside, alright? Steve and I were just talkin'. It's got - this is our problem, okay?"

"No. Let the twink stay, Buck. Let him hear all about our little prank." Steve's jaw is set tight as he steps forward, and so does Tony. "That's right. You _ ruined _ Nat and I, so I'm payin' Bucky to ruin _ you. Y_ou actually think he'd ever fall for someone like you? You think you're so high and mighty but you're not. You're just a self centered, rude, little _ bitch boy_."

"_E__nough." _

Bucky feels like he's about to burst from the seams, and they're all watching. Pepper, Tasha, Scott, Clint. the football team, Bruce, even Wanda and Pietro. Everyone's eyes are on them and Bucky just wishes the floor would open up and swallow him whole. Steve's already stomped off, and Bucky barely notices as M'baku and Erik follow right after him. He doesn't care anymore. All that matters is the way Tony's looking at him, having stepped right into his space.

"I let you in. I came to you for comfort after… after Howard. I brought you into May's home. I was the one by your side when Becca was in the hospital. I told you things that I haven't even told my closest friends and I _gave you my virginity._" A few of the eyes in the crowd go wide, and Tony's just an arms reach away now. "Was any of it real?" His voice breaks on the last syllable, the tears falling freely down the faded bruises on his cheeks. Bucky can't do anything but fumble over his words, and immediately goes silent when Tony shakes his head. Those brown eyes that once twinkled up at him are snuffed out now, and Bucky feels sick to his stomach. He can _ feel _the hate emanating from Tony like a candle burning bright and angry.

And then Tony laughs, dry and humorless. 

"Fuck you, Bucky. Here. I made you this. You can shove it up your ass."

Tony reaches off to the side, where there sits something that looks like a guitar case. He all but hurls it at Bucky's chest before running off, Tasha and pepper giving him venomous looks as they follow Tony, their heels clacking loudly on the linoleum. 

Bucky flicks the clasps of the case open, and nestled inside, there's a prosthetic arm made from the finest metal Bucky's eyes have ever seen, the Stark Industries logo carved on the side of one of the fingers. 

Bucky doesn't care how many people are watching. He breaks down right then and there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and criticisms always appreciated. xx


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this one is rather short but rather important in the scheme of things. little trigger warning for implied homophobia, depression, and mention of child abuse. enjoy xx

hey man, ik ur not feeling well but cmon u missed the first game of the season **received 10:30 pm **

ik u dont wanna be around steve but the rest of us are on ur side abt things **received 10:33 pm**

none of the othr guys r able to translate as well for me as u do bucky **received 10:34 pm**

please **received 10:37 pm**

ok well i hope ur taking care of urself at least man. ily. u know my phones always on loud for u **received 10:40pm**

Bucky could always count on Clint to pull him out of even the deepest of ruts, and although that last message caused the corners of his lips to twitch, he just couldn't bring himself to a full on smile. The side of his face pressed against the cold wood of his desk, headphones turned all the way up as he tried his best to drown out his sadness with One Direction's entire discography. Not even Harry Styles himself could get Bucky to move. 

"Buck, c'mon. Mrs. Levy made your favorite for dinner. You gotta be hungry." Not even the world's most delicious plate of scalloped potatoes and meatloaf could to get Bucky to move from where he was slumped over. Seeing Becca able to move around again without fear of another episode, though, warmed Bucky to the bone. Not that he needed to be warmed, the end of March brought rain, but it also brought the beginnings of Spring. Spring fling. 

_Tony. _

A ghost-like moan slipped past Bucky's lips, the sound miserable and droning. Becca rolled her eyes, pushing off the door frame and glancing one last moment at what remained of her older brother. "You know, you have no one to blame but yourself. Steve may've been the one to put you up to it, but you're the dope that followed through." Her words stung and sunk deep into Bucky's chest, and he was glad she shut the door behind her. No one should have to see the way he crumpled to the floor, rolling up into himself and allowing the tears to come again. 

\-----------------------------

hey, i'm outside. **received 4:15 pm**

please let me in, buck. i just wanna talk. and apologize. like, a million times. **received 4:17 pm**

best friends, bucky. 'till the end of the line. ain't that what we always said? **received 4:18 pm**

…

door's unlocked. **sent 4:20 pm**

and try to sneak past becks if you can. otherwise she might pelt you with shoes. speaking from personal experience here. **sent 4:21 pm**

\--------------------------------

Bucky knows he looks like absolute hell when he opens his bedroom door to let Steve in. He's got Doritos dust stuck under his nails, his hair's got enough grease in it to cook a batch of fries and he knows he must smell a bit… questionable. Steve's got enough decency not to scrunch his nose up, and Bucky can see that he didn't heed the warning text he sent because Steve's got a mark about size 7 and a half on his cheek. It's almost enough to make Bucky laugh. Almost. Steve deserved it.

"Listen, uh. I don't.. I don't know where to start. Buck, i-if you would've just. _T__old me _ about Becca, about how you felt -"

"What would've been different, Steve? You wouldn't have wanted to hurt Tony? At least this isn't physical damage. I know if I would'a let you stew in what you were feeling that you'd pummel him. And I think we both know well enough that he gets enough of that at home."

Bucky's words, thankfully, silence Steve. He looks to be thinking for a moment, but Bucky doesn't let him come up with an answer. "I didn't want your pity. Emotional or financial. I wouldn't've let you just give me that money, Steve. What we did was fucked and yeah, I'm definitely to blame for agreein' to it in the first place. But I'm sick of it, Stevie. I'm sick of you and the way you treat people like they're pawns. This isn't a game. These are our _ lives. _I- I loved him. I still do. And because of you, any chance we had at something real is gone now. Hell, he could'a been my ticket out of this godforsaken shithole. Mine and Becca's. But I guess now we'll never know, will we?"

He doesn't know where the words are coming from, but he knows they've been sitting on his heart for way too long. "I hope you feel like a real big macho man now, Stevie. Your plan worked. Now get the hell outta my house before I make you."

"Buck - _B__ucky_. You're really gonna pin this on me? You're the one who wanted to go through with it! You're the one that kept it going. You could've stopped whenever you wanted but _ no_." A laugh falls from Steve's mouth, and Bucky forms a fist with the fingers of his new arm. He'd never been able to do that with the old one. "God, you people are so fuckin' dramatic."

… '_Y__ou people?' _

Bucky doesn't have to think twice before his fist's connected with Steve's jaw, the satisfying sound of metal meeting bone like music to his ears. Steve's eyes are wide with shock, and he brings his hand to the bruise quickly forming on his face. 

"Get the fuck out. And you can tell coach I quit. Don't come near me, or Tony, again."

Steve rushes out, and Bucky catches a glimpse of Becca peering out from her bedroom door. He can't be too sure, the adrenaline pumping in his veins making it a little hard to focus, but he's pretty sure there's a smile on her face.

It takes him a second, but he realizes there's one on his, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all have no idea how good it felt to write that scene. comments and criticisms always appreciated!! xx


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, i've decided to show you guys some of tony's point of view. i struggled a bit with this chapter, but hopefully it's better on paper than it was in my head. rigger warning for alcoholism, neglectful parenting, and child abuse. enjoy xx

"Tones, you've gotta get some sleep, man. When was the last time you were even home?" Rhodey says, warily eyeing the makeshift bed Tony's built for himself in the corner of the robotics lab. Sleeping on school grounds was absolutely prohibited, and probably illegal, but Tony made sure to hide all the evidence of his residency before the sun could even poke its head out. No way in hell was he going home, and it wasn't like any of his relatives lived close enough to take him in. Not that he thinks they would. And he didn't wanna have to couch surf at his friend's house. And it's not like he could stay at Bucky's. God.

_Bucky. _

Tony couldn't wait to graduate and be on the first road to New York fuckin' City. Far, far away from this town and all the bullshit it came with. Steve, Bucky, Howard. The fact that his own parents couldn't even be bothered to tell that he hadn't slept at home in over two weeks said enough in itself. he was leaving and never looking back.

But Rhodey. Rhodey, Pepper, Bruce, Natasha. All of his friends, they'd always had his back. He'd always find a way to keep in contact with them.

"I'll be fine, honeybear. I'm a big boy. And in about a month or so, none of this will really matter at all. Prom, graduation. It's all happening." Tony's shoulders lift in a shrug, and Rhodey's giving him that _ look_. He can feel the lecture that's about to go on.

"Yeah, you're right. High school's gonna be one big, miserable blur after this." He takes a moment to let things settle. "You know, I spoke to Sam the other day. Wilson. Says Bucky gave Steve a piece of his mind. Socked him right in the jaw, almost powerful enough to break it. And he used the arm you made him."

Tony fumbles with the screwdriver he's using to secure a bolt on his project, a rather naive little robot he's decided to name Dum-E. He'd started off wanting to build a sophisticated shell of armor, partially to defend himself against Howard, partially because he'd always dreamed of protecting the world and everyone in it, but somewhere along the way he'd wound up with a hunk of junk that he loved dearly. He tries desperately to ignore the way his heart swells at the thought of Bucky actually using the arm he'd spent so long creating, and to use it to hurt the one man that'd hurt him almost as much as Howard has. Rhodey raises an eyebrow at Tony's uncharacteristically non hyper-verbal response.

"Look, I know you're pissed, or whatever. And upset and hurting, but so is he. I follow him on Spotify, I should know. Dude's listened to _L__ove is a Losing Game _ like, 95 times in the past three days. All I'm saying is that if high school is gonna be a blur for you, make it a damn good one." And with that, he makes his exit. 

Tony stands in the lab in silence. Suddenly it feels much colder than usual. Dum-E beeps twice, a bit sad sounding, and Tony curses under his breath. He _ hates _ when Rhodey's right.

\--------------------

Ana and Jarvis greet him with warm hugs and offers of tea and his favorite cookies when he finally decides to go home. Unfortunately, he seems to have picked the wrong day and scowls when he sees Howard's town car parked in the garage. It was half past noon on a Sunday, meaning Howard must be at least four drinks deep by now. Maria, his mother, was likely locked away upstairs, reading in bed, or at the country club with those vultures she liked to call friends. It didn't matter. She could be right in front of him and it wouldn't matter because she never did anything to stop it. Not that she could. None of them could. No one would dare to interrupt Howard on one of his drunken tirades. He only stopped once he got tired and Tony was beaten to his liking. 

It's really all Tony's fault this time. The prodigal son should've picked a better time to return home. Maybe then he wouldn't be curled up on the bathroom floor, dressing the wound on his cheek and trying to hold an ice pack to his collarbone. Which he's pretty sure is probably broken, if not terribly sprained. He'd definitely have to have FRIDAY run some scans once he was back in the safety of his own room. He couldn't risk going to the emergency room. There's only so many times you can use the "I'm so clumsy" excuse.

He hates himself for thinking it, but he'd give anything to be able to go to Bucky's right now. He'd know exactly how to comfort Tony, and there was just something so warm and loving about that house. Bucky always swore that it was ten times better back when his Ma was alive, she was always the one to make sure the house was clean and that everyone was as happy as it could be.

Tony never told him so, but he thought Bucky did just as good of a job as his mother, if not better. Walking into that house felt like being wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket fresh out of the dryer. And right now, Tony felt about as cozy as being buried ten feet deep in ice. 

He knows, deep down, that Bucky's the only one with a chance of helping him thaw out. 

\---------------------------------

For now, though, Peter Parker and his chubby little cheeks are doing a damn good job at easing his mind. There's no way Tony _ can't _smile when he hears that infectious giggle, and he's really done for when he sees Peter trying his hardest to pronounce Tony's name right.

"Tuh..Tuh-nee. Tuh." 

"Hey, little man. Why don't you just call me T for now, okay? At least until all your teeth are in, then we can work on it."

Peter's answering smile, gummy and full of drool, truly makes Tony's heart soar. In another life, a better life, maybe he'd be looking forward to having kids. To giving them things he never had, like emotional stability and a father who loves them unconditionally. He used to picture Bucky there, in that life. Maybe raising those kids right alongside him. But that's all gone to shit now. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" May's eyebrow raises and Tony's pulled from his daze, nose wrinkling as he realizes peter's spit up has drenched his shoulder.

"Penny for you to take your son so I can clean this mess off of my arm." He replies with an dis-genuine, half-formed grin. May sees right through it.

"Oh, Tony." There's no pity in May's voice, and Tony's thankful for it. He's gotten quite enough of that from his friends. "I know you're hurting, and I'm sure Bucky is, too. Have you tried talking to him at all? You should at least try to hear him out. His side of the story matters, too." She says softly, plucking Peter from his arms and placing him in his playpen for the time being. He fusses, and then his non-existent attention span is occupied by the sight of his shiny new dinosaur robot, courtesy of Stark Industries. Tony wishes he had something shiny to distract him, too.

"I just… how am I even supposed to do that, May? I gave him so much and it was all just some game to him. I even built that motherfu...dger a new _ arm_. God, I'm an _ idiot_."

"Tony, if it was all a game to him then I'm sure he wouldn't be as effected as he is right now. I mean, shit, even I heard he quit the football team." Tony gives her a look and she shrugs, grinning. "Word gets around fast in this town. All I'm saying is that maybe he deserves a second chance. And you owe it to yourself to find out. Plus, I know for a fact Peter misses him. Caught him trying to sing that rainbow song in the bath the other night, which went about as well as any eighteen month old trying to sing." 

The soft laugh Tony gives makes May move closer to wrap a supportive arm around his shoulder, and she ruffles his hair affectionately. "Whatever you do, just don't let that Rogers kid anywhere near you again. Otherwise I'll have to hurt him. Or I'll force him to change one of Peter's diapers."

Tony's laugh is much louder this time, and Peter even starts to giggle, too. Something light flutters around in Tony's chest, and he decides to bite the bullet. 

The next afternoon, he finds himself knocking on Bucky's door, heart in hand and a soft smile on his face. The smile immediately drops when he sees what awaits him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really can't believe we're getting to the end of things. there's probably going to be about two to three more chapters, with an epilogue. this story is my baby and the fact that anyone has bothered to even read one word of it truly means the world to me, so thank you all for your comments, your kudos, and for even clicking on it in the first place. your comments and criticisms and support are always appreciated. xx


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so just a little clarity for this addition; the beginning part of this chapter covers what happened right before tony knocked on bucky's door. i realized while writing it that it might not come across as clear, so i just wanted to clarify. 
> 
> i can't believe all that's left is the last chapter and then the epilogue. i can't thank you all enough for the support you've given this story. it's been an absolute joy to write it. 
> 
> enjoy xx

"Tasha? What're you doing here?" Bucky asks, after the redhead has all but kicked down his bedroom door.

"Becca let me in." She explains hastily, crossing her arms and Bucky's suddenly assaulted with memories of his Ma laying into him after getting into trouble. He gulps. "You haven't been to school in days, Bucky. We're all worried about you. Even Tony. _E__specially _Tony."

"Look, Tash, I -"

"Save it, Barnes. I don't wanna hear it. I get needing a break, and you know I get punching Steve. But quitting the football team? Completely dropping off the grid? This isn't you, Bucky. The version of you that I know stands his ground and doesn't let anything get in his way. What happened?"

He fell in love.

"I.. _To__ny _ happened." He sighs, running a hand through his hair and trying not to gag at the feeling of the split ends and oily strands. Maybe he did need to shower after all. "He just.. waltzes into my life all fuckin' pretty and perfect and I'm not supposed to fall for him?" Bucky scoffs, and Tasha gives him a sympathetic look. "The whole.. thing with Steve. I just.. I _really _ needed the money. You've seen the diner, you know we make shit money there. So I agreed to the stupid fuckin' _O__peration_. And yeah, I knew I had a crush on him when I agreed, and maybe that means I shouldn't have. But the bills, Tash. There's so many. But it doesn't matter now, does it? I went through with it and nothing changed. I don't have the money and I don't have the guy. I just have… me."

"And me. And Becca, and Clint and the guys on the team and hell, I bet even Steve couldn't stay mad at you for long." Nat's voice has turned soft, as she leans into Bucky's side and nudges her chin over his shoulder, gently hugging her arms around his waist. "We've all known each other for so _ long_, Bucky. Steve's said and done some pretty fuckin' stupid shit, but at the the end of the day you guys are friends. 'Till the end of the line."

Bucky snorts.

"Well I draw the line at homophobia alright, Tash? I mean, fuck, he may as well've spit in my face and called me a f-"

"Bucky. You _ know _I don't condone that. You should _ never _ forgive him for that. All I'm saying is that a lot of people got hurt in this big mess. And I'm sorry. You know if I could fix it all that I would. Tony just.. won't talk to anyone, and neither will you. You two really are meant for each other."

Bucky's laugh is half genuine, half painful. _M__eant for each other_. Soulmates. A month ago, Bucky would've swooned at the thought. Now, though, it just reminds him of everything that he's lost. He means to tell Tasha as much, but their heart to heart is interrupted by a knock at the door. Bucky excuses himself, and Tasha follows him down the stairs for emotional back up.

Which turns out to be a good idea, because when he opens the door to none other than Steve Rogers himself, _ speak of the fucking devil_, it takes Tasha holding him back for him to not rip the door off its hinges and beat Steve to death with it.

"Hey, hey, I come in peace, alright? Just need a moment alone with Buck." 

"It's _Ja__mes_." The words are spot out venomously before he can even think about it. I told you I don't wanna see you ever fucking again, Rogers. Go back to wherever you came from and fuck off. For good."

He intends to slam the door in Steve's face, but a strong hand stops him from doing so. His lips snarl up in what he hopes is a threatening expression, but Steve just looks past him, over his shoulder, and at Natasha. A bitter laugh falls from his lips. "Oh wow, you move on quick, don't you, Buck? You battin' for both teams now?" 

James doesn't have to hit him, because Tasha's already beat him to the punch before he can so much as lift his arm, quite literally. Steve's cradling his jaw, and James pities any poor bastards that get in the way of the redhead. He can practically feel the fire in her eyes, and he gives her a proud look. Not that she needs it.

"_Fucking_christ, what is wrong with you all? Fuck, look, _ please _ just.. just let me in, okay? Let me say my piece and I promise I'll go. Forever, if you want."

James and Tasha share a look. They'd pretty much always been able to communicate with just their faces, and James lets out a sigh, and acquiesces. Something in the back of his mind tells him he'll regret this, deeply. he pushes it down and opens the door wide so Steve can enter.

"Alright. Buc- _J__ames_. What we did - what _I _did was wrong. I fucked up royally, and I hurt so many people in the process. I just… I just wanted to play a prank. I had no idea how you really felt about the tw- Tony. Yeah, you should've told me, but I'm your best friend and I should've known. You guys really did make a cute couple. I was.. I was blinded. What Nat and i had was.. special." 

"So special you decided to cheat on me not even two weeks in?"

Steve throws a look Tasha's way, and her face is smug as she lifts her shoulders. He walked right into that one.

"_A__nyway._ What we had was special. Until I fucked that up, and Tony just _ had _ to insert himself into my issues. I was angry and hurt and I should've never dragged anyone else into this. And… and I'm sorry about what went down a few weeks ago. The… the-"

"Homophobic remarks?"

"... Yeah. Those. I guess I just.. you know how my dad is. It's.. it's hard, to unlearn certain shit you're so used to hearing. But you gotta know I don't care about any of that, James. I want you to love who you love, and you should be damn proud of that love. We're best friends. 'Till the end of the line. Okay?"

James leans a little bit heavier on his right foot, compensating for the new weight of his left arm. If he and Tony ever spoke again, he'd have to mention that issue to him. He mulls over Steve's half-baked speech, not bothering to cast a glance at Tasha. He doesn't want anyone else to influence his decision right now. So, yeah. Steve's a grade A asshole with homophobic tendencies. A bully, and someone who's always putting his feelings before his friends'. He hurt Tony. 

James moves to show Steve exactly where he can put his apology when they're interrupted by another knock at the door. Tasha's eyebrow arches, and she looks to James. He nods and she opens the door.

James' heart drops out of his ass when he sees Tony Stark, disheveled and eyes bright with hope, at his doorstep. Tony's line of sight falls on Steve, and James watches as all the hope gets snuffed out with a blink of an eye. And then Tony's running.

\-------------------

"Tony. Tony, wait!" 

He's a little out of breath and a lot out of shape as he quite literally chases after the love of his life. For someone who, at least not to James' knowledge, never really did much physical exercise, Tony could run real fuckin' fast. James isn't even able to get within ten feet of him until they're nearly at the park where they once spent a night in silence. There's no snow now, and Tony's running from James rather than Howard, but Tony finally stops for a breather when they reach the fountain.

"God, fuck, quittin' that damn football team was the worst decision I ever made." James laments, panting and doubling over to hold his knees. Depression really was a bitch. He glances up at Tony, who seems to be getting off on this at least a little bit, judging by the smirk on his face. James hurt him, so it's only fair Tony got to hurt him back.

"Other than agreeing to Rogers' little plan. I'm glad you two are buddy-buddy again. Now you can go ruin more people's lives. Hell, make a career of it after graduation. You seem to have a real knack for it."

"_T__ony_." James doesn't mean for his voice to sound so desperate and broken and pathetic, but it does and there's nothing he can do about it. He's at the end of his rope. "You have to know that what happened between us was real. All the things we shared… that night, after our shower. There's no way to fake that."

Tony huffs, crossing his arms. "Oh, you'd be surprised."

"It - look. It may not have been my first time, but it sure as hell the first time that it meant something." He winces at the sound of his own cliche words. Tony steps back about a foot as James moves to hold his hands, and then he's shaking his head.

"Goodbye, James. see you at graduation." And then he's gone, sliding into a car that must've been waiting for him here. Tony must've gotten in contact with Happy while he was running. 

So instead James fumbles and puts his hands back into his pockets. Because he can do that now. Because of the arm Tony built him.

_Tony only actually builds things for the people he loves. _

_People he loves. _

_Loves. _

Tony _ loves him _. 

And yeah, maybe James is a bit slow to this realization but school was never his forte, okay? But that wasn't the point. The point was that Tony loves him, or loved, at least, and James loved him right back. They still had a chance, and James knew exactly how to use that chance. He had to go see a man about a tux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and criticisms always appreciated!! xx


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe we're really at the end of this journey. i'll be posting an epilogue, of course, because i can't stay away from this story, but i just want to thank everyone who's read this while it was a work in progress. i had no idea if i'd even write more than a chapter, but here we are. my first finished fic. i wanna thank tony stark and bucky barnes for existing and for giving me muse for this story. tony and bucky were the first mcu characters i ever loved, and i also wanna thank sebastian stan and rdj for their brilliant portrayals of their characters. i wanna thank my friend rynn for being the number one supporter for this fic, as both a fan and reviewer. she also influenced steve getting his ass beat so everyone say thank you rynn. i wanna thank my friend cait, because even though she may not be a winteriron shipper, she fully supported me and my story. and lastly i wanna thank every single one of you, for reading, for commenting, for everything. it may be the end but these characters will love on well past that. 
> 
> oh and i highly suggest you listen to fine line (the song) by harry styles while reading this for that extra teenage rom-com feel. 
> 
> enjoy xx

James walks to Prom. While they must've cinched on the budget for Spring Fling, it was worth it to find out that their senior Prom was booked at the fanciest banquet hall in all of Shelbyville. That being said, it was a bit of a trek on foot, but it would be worth it to see his friends, to enjoy himself, and to get Tony back. 

Becca was all set up at home with the Levy's, although she'd become healthy enough for James to consider leaving her home alone every once in a while. Now the only thing that worried him was the thought of her sneaking that Pietro kid into the house somehow. Bod, did he wish he could rewind time to when they were both kids. No boys, no heartache, no grief. But as it was, in a way, he was thankful that Becca was in a bad way because that meant he could hold her that much closer. Back when they first lost their parents, James was all sorts of terrified to screw things up. He had only been fourteen to Becca's eleven. She was going through _ changes_, for chrissake. James was all types of ill equipped for all of… that.

But, he thinks, his Ma and father would be proud of him. As much as their dad, James Buchanan Barnes Senior, never really said those words, he knows that he would in this instance. About a block away from the hall, James slows down to a stop and closes his eyes. Again, maybe he wasn't the most religious or spiritual person, but one thing James definitely believed in was that his Ma would always be on his side, no matter how far away she was. 

_Ma, I remember you telling me the story about how you and dad met at that dance hall on that warm June evenin'. I know you never got to meet Tony, but I think he's it for me. No, I _know _ he's it for me. He's messy and scrappy and loud and everything you would have ever wanted for me in a partner. Please, just.. hold my hand through this like you always have, okay? I love you. _

James' lungs expand in a deep breath, and he steadies his shaking form as he reaches up to adjust his tie. Clint was able to provide him with a suit in just his size, and even though his friend wouldn't accept the cash James had tried to give him, he was grateful all the same. He schools his expression of nervousness into one of confidence, or at least he hopes it comes off that way, and makes his way inside the hall.

\--------------------

Fancy turned out to be an understatement. The place is decked it in hues of red and gold, their school colors. The lighting situation is much more decadent than that of the Spring Fling, and there's beautiful centerpieces on every single table. He eyes the kid handing out everyone's place cards, their names embossed on the paper in the same gold as the lights. James thanks the guy and gives him an easy smile as he grabs the one with his name on it, and turns to scan the crowd for familiar faces. He sees Bruce and Scott huddled in one corner, both nursing glasses of sparkling cider, and Clint is too far off, with Wanda on his arm. She looks absolutely stunning in her black gown, the slit in the thigh both tasteful yet tantalizing at the same time. His chest swells with affection, knowing that Clint's finally found someone. Hopefully, by the end of tonight, they'll be able to arrange double dates in the near future.

Surprisingly, Thor and Loki seem to be on good terms tonight, and are conversing with the rest of the football team in their own little semi-circle. Sam's got some pretty bird hanging off his side, but it seems the rest of the guys decided to go stag. Carol and Rhodey look absolutely picturesque in their subtly matching outfits. Carol's decked out in the most gorgeous emerald-studded gown, a color that truly compliments the brown of her eyes, and Rhodey's got a tie that's in that same hue. His suit fits perfectly, and James takes a moment to take in the view before Tasha's fiery hair catches his eye.

He and Tasha had gone shopping together ages ago, so it comes to no surprise when he sees how breathtaking she looks in her gown. The deep blue fabric cinches perfectly at her shapely waist, and the spider-web shaped earrings she'd selected as an accessory really do blend in well with the whole ensemble. Spiders were kind of her thing. No offense to Peter. 

Pepper's in a gown of a similar silhouette, only hers is an off-white and she chose to forego any ear jewelry in favor of her corsage the same color as Tasha's dress. She also has a string of pearls strewn about her neck, which he knows Tony must've implanted some sort of defense mechanism inside of. Perhaps a tracing device, should his best friend run into any sort of trouble like the last time. She catches his eye and waves, and so James heads on over to the pair.

"You two ladies are lookin' mighty fine tonight, if I do say so myself." His smile is wide and genuine, and the nerves that were eating away at him seem to scatter as Tasha's elbow digs into his side.

"If I didn't know any better I'd think you were hitting on my woman, Barnes."

He and Pepper both snort and roll their eyes, and he greets his friends with a warm kiss to each of their cheeks. "You know I've only got eyes for one, doll. Speaking of which, um, has anyone seen him tonight yet?"

Pepper sighs, and James' veins are thrumming with disappointment once again. "Last I saw Tony, he had no intention of showing up tonight. We all tried to get him to crawl out of his cave, but… I'm sorry, James." The pity in her eyes is almost enough to drive James insane, and so he excuses himself to the bathroom. Suddenly, the lights are too bright and the DJ's music is like nails on a chalkboard. He has to get out of here. If there was no Tony, then there was no Prom. _G__od,_ this tie was too tight.

Once his tears are successfully suppressed and he's gathered his wits, he opens the door and walks straight into someone's body, nearly knocking them both on their asses. It takes several blinks, but once James' vision clears, his heart leaps up into his throat and the word that spills from his lips is full to the brim with relief and with love.

_ "Tony_."

\-------------------------

"I didn't… I didn't think you'd be here." 

As far as greetings go, it's not a great one. But James'll take it. It feels like centuries since he's seen Tony, and he's glad to note that he seems to be all in one piece. Meaning that he had no visible bruises, and the dark bags that James noticed the last time they were together seem to have dissipated. 

"I, um. Pepper told me you weren't gonna show up tonight either. But… but I'm so glad you did. You look fantastic." 

And he did. Tony's decked out to the nines in his soft gray three piece suit, although the tie's a bit loose and his top three buttons are undone to reveal the soft smattering of his chest hairs. He looks so unbelievably _T__ony _ and James tries hard not to just reach out and kiss him right then and there. But there was a time and a place for everything and this wasn't it. 

"Ypu clean up pretty well yourself, Barnes. Becca did a good job with your hair." The smile on his face is small, but it's there and it's real and James laughs at the words. Tony knew he didn't have a chance in hell at styling his own hair, and so Becca took it upon herself to gel the unruly strands into a 40s style, giving James that sexy rebel-without-a-cause look he was aiming for. It pays off to see the way Tony drinks it all in. 

"Did you. Um. Come with anyone? I already saw Scott and Bruce, so. Um."

"Ah, no. No, I didn't bring a date." Tony's eyes flick between the arm and Bucky's face, a bit unreadable as he spoke. "Did you? Bring anyone?"

"No, nope. Tasha had already asked Pepper, so. Just me." James bites his lip, pushing his hands into the pocket of his dress pants and standing awkwardly for a moment. _Go__d _ he'd had so much he planned to say and all of a sudden it was like his brain was just… empty. Empty except for thoughts of Tony and him in suits in another setting. Empty except for thoughts of pulling Tony into his chest and holding him there for all of eternity. But for now..

"Doyouwannadancemaybe?"

"I'm sorry, I only speak English. Come again?" Tony's smile has morphed into a smirk and James _ knows To_ny heard him right because Tony can speak seven different goddamn languages for fuck's sake and James' mumbling drawl was definitely one of them. He sighs and repeats himself again anyways, fully prepared to deal with this sass for the rest of his life.

"Would you like to dance? With me? Please?"

Tony's glowing now, and James isn't sure if it's the way Tony looks at him and nods without hesitation, but the clouds hanging over his head finally drift away and it feels like the sun's finally come out after a decade-long slumber. He swears he hears birds chirp as Tony's arm hooks around his and then they're off to the dance floor.

\---------------------

So, maybe they have more than one dance. And maybe Tony invites him to join Scott, Pepper, Tasha, Carol, Rhodey and Bruce at their table. It brings him back to that first fateful day in December when Tony'd let him occupy their lunch table. And James has about tenfold the amount of butterflies this time around.

He hasn't seen so much as a glimpse of Steve Rogers all night and his chest feels light to know that. Maybe one day they'd be able to fix their shit and move past all this, but that day wasn't today. His laughs and smiles come easy as he banters with Scott about virtually everything from sports to their math teacher, and he realizes that he's going to miss these people after graduation. He's sure he and Tasha, and Pepper by association, will stay in constant contact once they move. Tasha had received early acceptance to Columbia, and Pepper had decided to take a year off to 'discover herself,' so to say. They'd be living in a cozy apartment in New York City come fall. Bruce, to no one's surprise, was practically recruited by Stanford and would be off to California sometime in late August. He vividly remembers Tony lamenting about how much he'd miss his science bro, but James had no doubt that Tony'd be on the first flight out to visit him whenever he could.

Carol and Rhodey had enrolled at Brown, the both of them looking forward to seeing what New England weather and culture had in store for them. James could see a ring in Carol's near future, though they might as well have been an old married couple already. Scott and his friend Luis decided to start a business together and would be staying here in Indiana to get their beginnings. There was always at least one bird that never flew the nest, not that that was necessarily a bad thing. Some people better flourished in their hometowns and James had a feeling Scott would be one of them. Clint, ever the ambition-driven perfectionist, worked hard to get accepted to NYU for the upcoming fall semester. As smart as he was, Clint's laziness proved to be his Achilles' heel. But once Clint set his eyes on a goal, he never missed.

And Tony? Well, Tony could go… anywhere. His brain, his grades, his last name all put together meant that any school would consider themselves the luckiest bastards if Tony Stark decided to enroll there. And James, if tonight worked in his favor, would be following Tony wherever he went. His grades weren't the best, and he had Becca to worry about, but he'd figure out a way to make it work if it meant he and Tony were gonna be together in the end.

Speaking of which.

\----------------

He'd excused himself to the bathroom nearly ten minutes ago, and if he didn't do this now, he knew Tony'd come knocking on the locked door soon enough. So, James took one last good look at himself in the mirror, made sure his tie and his hair are in order, and heads back out to the main room. Tony eyes him suspiciously, and James does nothing more than smile in his direction as he makes a beeline for the DJ booth. Tony and Tasha exchange looks of confusion as James whispers in the DJ's ear, and then the music's being cut. The crowd gathered on the dance floor starts to complain, but the noise quickly dies down when James grabs the mic and comes to the front of the stage.

"Um. So. A friend of mine told me recently that I'm the type.. the type to stand my ground and go after what I want. Who I want. So, I'm moving out of my own way and doing just that." His eyes nervously scan the crowd until they land on Tony's, wide and confused. _Is__ this what a heart attack feels like, Becks? _

"Tony Stark, I am absolutely, without a doubt, balls-deep in love with you." Their principal sputters, clearly balking at James' use of foul language, but doesn't make a move to stop him. 

"I think I've been in love with you since you transferred here in middle school. And as most of... everyone saw at the Spring Fling dance, I also hurt you. Deeply, and enough to ruin things between us. But you have to know that everything that happened, everything that we went through and experienced together… that was real. You.. we became part of each other's lives in ways that don't ever go away. And I never want to hurt you like that ever again. You… you're it. _T__he one, _I guess, as straight people say." Hold for scattered laughter. He finally catches Steve's eyes and there's tears reflected back in them, and a proud smile. "You, um. You changed my life, Tony, for the better, and in so many different ways. I guess…"

He shuts the mic off, passes it back to the DJ, and jumps off the stage to make his way to where Tony's stood, almost catatonic, on the edge of the dance floor. James takes his hands gently in his, one flesh, one metal.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is… I'm so fucking sorry, Tony. And.. and if you'll have me. I would love to be your boyfriend, for real. officially."

Tony's hands are shaking in his, and for a brief moment, James closes his eyes and braces himself for the soap opera worthy slap he knows is coming. 

Instead, he gets Tony's mouth pressed firmly to his, and the sound of thunderous applause from their classmates. Tony laughs into their kiss.

"Fuckin' rom-coms. Guess it's not as cheesy when it's ours, though."

James finds that he agrees.

\--------------------

**SOME WEEKS LATER**

you know you really don't have to do this, babe **received 2:45 pm**

we can live the rest of our lives without this day happening **received 2:45 pm**

i mean really we're leaving in a few weeks and neither of us will have to see howard ever again so like what's the point of meeting him you know **received 2:47 pm**

as happy as i am that you're not texting and driving i'm kinda losing my mind here and would love some supportive words from my boyfriend **received 2:50 pm**

i ahte you **received 2:52 pm**

no you don't, _ lover._ now open the door and give me a kiss. **sent 2:55 pm**

\------------------

Dinner with the Starks is worse than any horror movie James has ever sat through in his entire young life. Maria's said very little, all saccharine smiles with a flute full of champagne in her delicately manicured hand. Tony's sat across from James, fingers twitching nervously with his salad fork. Howard's sat at the head of the table, dressed in a smart suit with a fur-lined robe over top, and a very punch-able face that James avoids looking at. Ana and her husband work diligently, serving them a full four-course meal complete with the finest lamb chops James has ever tasted and a homemade vanilla cake topped with a rich buttercream frosting for dessert. James thanks them profusely, and every time he does, Howard's nose wrinkles as though he's smelt something putrid.

James can't wait to get the fuck out of there.

"So, Anthony, I assume you and your little friend here must be thrilled about your travels. When is it that you leave again?" Howard sips at his bourbon, eyeing the two of them.

"Yes, my _ boyfriend _ and I are very excited. We leave the first week of August, to get everything settled in."

James swears he can see Howard's skin crawl at the word _ boyfriend_, and he hooks his ankle around Tony's beneath the table. Maria excuses herself from dessert with a terse little smile and a kiss to Tony's temple, sauntering off up the stairs to her bedroom. James wishes he could reach over and hold Tony's hand.

"Ah yes, the earlier the better and all that." Howard nods, clearing his throat and moving to light his cigar. James' nostrils flare at the acrid stench, and he rubs his foot over Tony's ankle when he sees the way his boyfriend swallows and hangs his head. James is sick to his stomach.

"Well, I do believe it's time for your friend to depart. Say goodnight, Anthony, and then I wish to share a celebratory smoke with my son."

"Yes, dad."

James slings his arm around Tony's waist as soon as they're in the relative safety of the foyer, and he brings the smaller man in for a tight embrace. His words are low and whispered into Tony's ear. "Just a few more days, baby, and it'll all be over. I promise. I love you." 

Tony shudders and clings to James for all that it's worth, and they aren't expecting an audience when their lips meet in a slow, comforting kiss. As it is, Howard scoffs and steps in from the dining area.

"I believe I said to escort this cripple out of our home, Anthony. Now get to it."

"_E__xcuse me? _"

Tony's hands dig hard into James' bicep, a subtle warning for him not to lose his temper. He was no match for Howard even _ with _ the metal arm. But that didn't mean he couldn't tear him down with his words.

"You know, I may be crippled. but I'd rather be missing an arm than a heart. Tony is the most beautiful, wonderful fuckin' being to walk the earth and you treat him like he's some scum on the bottom of your ridiculously expensive shoes. Well, Mister Stark, _Howard _, I'll have you know that it's _ you _ that's the scum." He says these last words with a finger pressed to Howard's chest. He can't hit him, for fear of going to jail, but _ god _ does he wish he could. "Tony's an adult now and he can finally be free of you and I'm letting you know that I'm gonna do _ damn well _all that I can to protect him from monsters like you." He turns to his lover.

"Come on, Tony. You're staying with me from now on until we leave. Have Happy drive over your things tomorrow."

"_An__thony - " _

Tony spins on his heel, and even James is almost cold to the bone just watching him. "It's_ Tony. A_nd you can't hurt me anymore. Goodbye, Howard. And good fucking riddance."

The door slams behind them, and Tony's chest is heaving from all the anger and adrenaline coursing through his veins. He decides to put it to good use with James in the back of his car, and it's so worth the bruises on his knees the next day. _G__ood bruises_, for once. 

Maybe the future's looking pretty bright for the both of them after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and criticisms always, always appreciated. see you for the epilogue!! xx


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, this is it. actually. for real this time. i promise.
> 
> ;)
> 
> enjoy xx

Of course they go to New York.

NYIT all but rolled out the red carpet for Tony when he showed up to orientation with James and Becca in tow, and the smug smile on his face lasted for two days straight. Howard had effectively disowned Tony the moment he stepped onto the plane to New York, but in turn owed Tony his due inheritance. Clint's got a decent chunk of loan money, Becca's got her disability checks now after Pepper helped her work out the legal side of things, and James' secured a job at a local cafe as an assistant manager, being that they were thoroughly impressed with his experience at a shitty diner in Shelbyville. So, he, Becca, Clint and mostly Tony all chipped in to buy a cozy studio apartment in Midtown, just about halfway between both schools. 

Maria would send letters, brief but present, as seemed to be her whole existence. Ana and Jarvis sent postcards every month, and from time to time, would even manage to mail over those slices of vanilla cake James loved so much. Happy, surprisingly, shacked up with May sometime in September, and Tony was tickled pink to receive a Thanksgiving day card with a picture of three of them all sat together in May's living room. Or, well, make that four, rather. May was particularly excited to be expecting a girl this time around, and James and Tony were beside themselves when she called them to be the godparents. Little Mary Louise Parker was due this coming April. 

Tony immediately claimed the master bedroom for himself and James as soon as they got settled in, if only because of the fantastic view from their windows. That, the attached bathroom, the spacious walk-in closet and the fact that the bathtub had _ jets _ for fucks sake, were all attributes James could certainly get used to indulging in. Clint settled for the smaller of the two guest bedrooms, since he'd be commuting between here and Connecticut anyways to visit Wanda at school. So, he wouldn't really be needing much space anyways. Becca got the room closest to Tony and James', obviously for emergency purposes. Although, maybe it wouldn't be so necessary come next Spring when she'd finally be receiving her heart transplant. James had a sneaking suspicion that Tony had something to do with how quickly Becks moved to the top of the donor list, but he wasn't about to question a blessing like that.

So, they were happy. They were free. And they were living in their own little corner of the Big Apple.

And Tony makes damn sure that they christen every last inch of it, which sets our scene.

Tony's left hand is stretched high, placed flat on the sturdy surface of the headboard, his right arm slung tight over James' muscular back as their bodies rocked together. James' cock is buried deep as possible inside of Tony, but somehow he keeps trying to get even deeper, angling his hips _ just right _ and grinding forward into Tony's sweet spot.

There's a sheen of sweat glistening on both of their bodies, even though it's well into November. Tony's hand almost slides off James' shoulder, until he successfully embeds the nails into his skin, a breathy little moan falling from his lips at the feeling of James' skin breaking under his hold. Tony always was a scratcher, and for what it's worth, James felt himself developing a new kink. The slick sounds of James' balls pressing up into the flesh of Tony's _perfectly_ _round_ ass filled the room, and there was something almost obscene about all the squelching sounds of James' lubed up cock pushing and pushing and pushing. 

He's gone for runs nearly every morning to make up for his lack of exercise since quitting football for good, but James still finds himself out of breath from this particular form of cardio. He's genuinely surprised he's lasted this long, with how tony's muscles are clenching around him like a vice, pulling him in impossibly closer. He's glad he chose to chop a good six inches off of his hair a few weeks ago, otherwise they'd be finding strands of it in their mouths later on. James did leave a little bit though, for Tony to hold onto. Tony _ loved _to pull hair. 

So James' metal fingers moved of their own accord, tangling themselves in that chestnut mess of hair atop Tony's head, and pulled sharply. The wet gasp that James was rewarded with nearly made him come right then and there, and he pressed his face into the warm column of Tony's throat to mouth and nip at his overheated skin. If there were any room for him to do, he would've reached his other hand down to tend to Tony's needs, but as it is, Tony's neglected cock ground up against the flatness of James' stomach, providing the sweet friction he knew Tony must be craving. James can feel the small pool of precum gathering there, and it makes him twitch inside of his boyfriend.

"_F__uck_, I want you to come inside of me."

Tony's words are barely more audible than a whisper, but James hears them loud and fucking clear. He and Tony forewent the condoms, on account of James having not slept with anyone else in over a year and a half and Tony having never been with anyone else, period. And they were both glad for it. Nothing compared to the feeling of pressing against each other completely bare, and the way Tony's eyes got wet and glassy as James filled him up. He loved to be plugged up, afterwards, too. Sometimes, James would tease him for being so greedy, and Tony's brain would malfunction. They'd have to explore that more in the future.

"Yeah, baby? Want my cum dripping out of you, be all dirty for me?" James spoke directly against the shell of Tony's ear, and if the gasped chants of _ yes, yes, yes! _ were anything to go by, this would be over in the blink of an eye. Part of James was glad for it, considering his legs were starting to cramp up a bit from this position. No complaints from his arm though, which was a welcome change. 

He doubled down and pistoned his hips forward at a dangerously brutal pace, not giving a single fuck that the headboard was smacking noisily against the wall with each thrust. Tony's nonsensical babbling broke off into a choked out moan, and James shuddered when he felt Tony's tears drip down to his cheek. Fuck, he _ loved _this part. Tony's hole gripped tight around his length, and James saw stars as he finally let go and spilled inside his lover. Tony was all but trembling as he came for what felt like hours, after having had James finger him open for about twenty minutes prior to all this. Turns out edging was a shared kink of theirs and they'd milked it for all it was worth. Pun heavily intended.

"Hey, hey, angel, it's alright, I'm here, c'mon back to me, sweetheart. I love you. God, I love you, Tony." 

James always made sure to take care of Tony, afterwards. He never pulled out right away, something they learned they both didn't like the hard way. It usually didn't take but five or so minutes for Tony to come floating back down to earth, and once he did, he always gave James that same spacey, beautiful smile. Kinda like the one he was giving him now.

"There y' are, my love. Feelin' good, hm?" He hummed softly, carding his fingers through Tony's sweaty, soft hair. The smaller man couldn't do much but nestle into James' chest and moaned appreciatively, but his words would come back in small increments. When they did, it was almost always the same.

"Mmm. Love you. Coffee in the morning."

\-----------------------

Becca's pleasantly amused when the pair stumble into the kitchen the next morning, bleary eyed and pressed together. James gives her an incredulous look, while Tony scratches at his belly and makes a move for the espresso machine before anyone else can. Clint's likely long gone by now, having made plans to visit Wanda this weekend.

Becca's staring. So James puffs his chest out a little bit and huffs. "_W__hat?" _

She snorts. "Clint is _ so _lucky he's deaf."

James' face turns an impressive shade of red, and he scowls as Tony starts to laugh, loudly, and in tandem with Becca.

_Great. Now there's two of them. _He's not sure what he signed up for, but he's damn glad he did anyways. 

**fin.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on tumblr @ bukowsklng.tumblr.com and on twitter!! @BUKOWSKlNG
> 
> comments and criticisms always appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and criticisms are much appreciated. xx


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